Man I have avoided
that entry title for nearly 13 years. It's a 4-word
phrase that has popped up in my head ever since
I thought of 4tvs with the famous addendum:
"...master of none." The philosophy that some people
are destined to do everything well, but never achieve
"Greatness" in one area BECAUSE they do
everything well. I hate the term with a passion, but
this latest construction project (which will be a
surprise and released at a later date) has all but
made me wonder again. A lot. I explain a lot in
That reads as a
little bitter I guess. Like the only reason
I didn't achieve more success was timing.
Well, putting it that way I do actually believe
that. LOL. But I don't necessarily believe all
the greats in showbiz weren't "masters"... clearly the
majority were and are. There is however, so much
mediocrity that you're hard pressed to understand what
sticks and what doesn't. Especially as I look back on
the 10 years within 2000-2010. So much talent, so much
hard work... I mean, the most tenacity I've ever
heard of, unending...
...and only 1 year
of success? And then you come to what I've done this
year... huh? I jump head first into things no one
in their right mind would attempt... and I pull
them off. Well! Not arrogance, just straight up
observation when compared to other people's reactions
to those things. It's not even the finished product
that makes me think that, people do far better work
than I do, it's that I still have that thing
in me that says: "Yeah, I can do that." - and
then I do it. Just have no fear of failure... and it's
in every possible creative field you can imagine. So
much so? Nearly everything I attempt, people
assume that's "What I Should Do". Ugh, I've certainly
written about this before...
angry at me on this one. They feel like I'm the
biggest asshole that ever lived. Imagine it, you go to
someone's house and see that they, christ, I don't
know... wittled a piece of wood into a gorgeous
statue. Looks professional. You say: "Oh you're a
sculptor? You work with wood?" They say: "No,
just thought I'd try it."
you. Everyone hates those bastards. Well, goddamnit,
I'm that bastard. I thought I was that
bastard BEFORE 2012, and now? It's annoying. I
don't want to be good at everything I attempt.
I want to be AWESOME at one thing so I can
have a job like normal people and be successful.
Because choosing ONE THING and putting all
my creative energies into that? Would be astounding.
But I've tried that shit and I get bored. I can't
do it. I have no passion for individual parts,
I have passion for the entirety of it. I love
attempting ridiculously ambitious things that no one
in their right mind would attempt alone... and just
"You didn't build
that yourself without writing anything
Writing it down?
What fun is that? Just build what your mind sees, man.
See that up there?
That even annoys ME. And I say that shit.
I guess I'm just
really saying that I don't see how this ever gets
much better. I mean, eventually all the house
stuff will be done and I can try something else, but I
feel like I'm almost doomed to be unsatisfied the rest
of my life when it comes to "working". 'Cause the
truth is, as much as I love doing a little bit of
everything? It annoys me that I can't seem to put
it all together and get paid for being the most
talented man on the planet. All because I keep adding
skills/talents to my repetoire. Skills/Talents that
I would NEVER consider doing professionally, even
if I could.
Which also makes
people angry when I tell them. If this just isn't
the most annoying entry ever.