A day that Talya
and I have waited for all year (the full-term 37 week
mark) comes with some disappointing news: the baby is
still breech, and she will most likely be having a
C-Section in 2 weeks on October 1st.
Ugggggh.
To those who have
never been pregnant or don't pay too much attention to
how that all works, clearly you want to avoid a
c-section. It seems half the people I know end up
getting them and there's much debate and discussion as
to the "business" of making babies and how quick they
are to "cut it out" as opposed to going natural. There
is however one big caveat: breech. Around 32 weeks the
baby usually starts headin' south preparin' for the
great exit of their short lives. Sometimes it takes a
bit longer, but only rarely do you hit full-term and
still be breech. A slew of issues come up if that's
the case, and all of them dangerous. So much so, you
will be hard pressed to find any doctor or even
mid-wife willing to deliver a baby breech. It's simply
too risky when there is the safe alternative of a
C-Section...
...of course what
the parents lose is, well, the entire delivery. Your
entire pregnancy is preparing for the delivery.
Something very magical about nature's timing that you
have no control over. It's the epitome of floating
downstream and inducing labor or having a c-section is
the opposite of that. No labor room, no pushing, no
being a team and working it out... it's a surgery and
you really can't even see it. You lay there and they
cut the baby out. It's as unnatural as you can
possibly go. To two people that want nothing more than
to enjoy the "journey" of this chapter of our lives it
is a huge letdown. For some newbies, I may need
to explain the whole timing thing and why a C-section
is so probable even though we haven't hit the due
date...
40 weeks from the
start of your last period is the date you are due to
have the baby. For us that is October 7th. The baby is
considered "full-term" at 37 weeks (today)
because it's pretty well done cookin'. And if you went
into labor right now the doctor would just let it be.
Whereas earlier they may try to give you medication to
stop the labor as the baby would be underdeveloped.
Today is the day that "it could happen at any time" so
be ready.
However, when your
baby is breech after this point? You're in some murky
territory. It is still possible, though highly
unlikely, for the baby to turn - the problem is the
baby is big, and there just isn't any more room for
that to happen. The reason is happens naturally around
32 weeks is that there's room. Why is hasn't happened
is anyone's guess. The chord could be wrapped around
the baby in a strange way, it could be too short...
Vienna could just be really comfortable and gives two
shits about our "plan". Who knows. If Talya were to go
into labor now, and there wasn't time for a C-Section,
it could be incredibly dangerous to the health of baby
AND mother. You're not designed to give birth foot or
butt-first and you run the risk of the head getting
stuck, oxygen deprivation and internal damaging from
pushing on the baby's abdomen, etc. It's just not how
humans are designed to have babies and hundreds of
years ago, mother's died, babies died... Fact of life.
It's even more of an issue for a first-time mother who
doesn't have a "proven" pelvis that's big enough to
pass a baby through to begin with.
Thanks to prenatal
care we now know if a baby is breech and there is a
far safer alternative: C-Section. It isn't natural,
it's a major abdominal surgery, it's a total ego blow
to the parents that had this wonderful fairy-tale
scene in their heads... but both mother and baby are
far safer. In this day and age, there really is no
other option. There's a reason you can't find any
doctors to forego a c-section when you're breech: it's
not worth the risk. Once the sting of disappointment
subsided? I found myself incredibly greatful that we
live in the time we live. I mean if we're gonna go
crazy trying to get a crib without formaldehyde in it,
the last thing we want to do is risk injury or DEATH
for our baby so we can "experience" the beauty of
delivery. We'll have another shot at it
later.
And although this
seems all very logical to anyone who hasn't gone
through a pregnancy? Believe me, it sucks. A lot. It's
a major disappointment, there are tears, it's really
shitty. However, it just temporary because in the end
it really is just ego. This proceedure could very well
be saving you and your baby's life.
The other
ass-kicker is the goddamn internet. I get the "natural
birth" movement and that it needs to express
every possible way it's better to make their point but
for those of us in the position of having no choice?
Reading how much harder it is to "bond" with
c-section babies, or breastfeed with c-section babies,
etc. It's this laundry list of unproven things to
shame you into natural childbirth. No one is denying
that natural is the best way to go but the truth is?
Many people naturally don't survive. That's where
I stop floating downstream, get out of the boat
and get some help. It's rare I do that (says the
man who gave himself stitches in the bathroom), but
I'm not a moron.
So we will now try
a myriad of fun things to make the baby turn from
burning herbs, shining lights and talking
DOWN LOW on Talya so the baby runs to my voice.
We will also try an external cephalic version on the
day we schedule the C-Section where the doctor
manually tries to move the baby to a head first
position. If successful, we will obviously cancel the
C-section and wait and see what happens. Most likely
however by that point (39 weeks and 1 day) the baby is
staying put. We toyed with the idea of trying the
ECV early, but it can stress out the baby and
lead to an emergency C-Section anyway, so we're trying
to give as much time as possible for the baby to
naturally turn. What that means is, gulp, two weeks
from tomorrow we will most likely be parents.
Strangely there is a bit of comfort in knowing that
date.
A week ago we took
some pictures and I made a little video...
