I just knocked in
a 15 foot jump shot off the ramp for a hole-in-one on
the last hole and got a course record 4 under par 17
like it was The Masters. And I was in my
backyard. I'm so goddamned excited to show you what
I'm talking about I can't stand it:
What the shit was
that? Is that actually in my backyard? Had I
any idea how fun that would be, how
little space it would take up in the yard, I
would have done this years ago. Doing three holes 3
times absolutely feels like real mini-golf and I
didn't have to make my backyard hideous in the
process. You know? I mean I had thought of this
before. Paddy and JT are big time mini-golf guys, in
fact, it's a good time to repost this:
Oh jesus the end
of that. Forgot about that. Wow. Me locking myself in
the spare room and crying in my whiskey because of how
bad things were "at home". Talk about a blast of
nostalgia. ANYWAY - We went on a boys adventure a
couple years ago for Paddy's B-Day and those two are
mini-golf crazies. They'll go anywhere to play a new
course. Around this time they tried to get me to make
a course but I just couldn't see it. You know? In
a big open area it just seems like it would be an
eyesore. However simply going around the already built
16x16 deck? It looks gorgeous. I mean it actually
looks pleasing from a landscaping stand
point.
I mean, the
wood stain on the deck and even if it's fake - the
green is GREEN. In the land of brown and no rain? It's
a joy to actually sit and see green.
See the happiness
difference from brown to green? LOL. Now in the
mornings? I can say to Talya: "Would you
like to have breakfast on the golf course?" and she
can say "why of course dear." So pimp. So happy about
this. And the space I used for it was space to
confined to be anything else. The dogs still have
their "bathroom" area (though some form of grass
is going over ther, this dirt shit has to go) and we
end up with a freaking mini-golf course. Hell I even
made scorecards:
Hells YES.
Granted, it seems kind of weak to just do the same 3
holes 3 times but it seems completely acceptable while
you're doing it. 'Cause you really get to know those
holes and your 2nd and 3rd time around you're certain
you're gonna get the birdie... and they still
aggrivate the hell out of you. Seriously I have
played these holes to death and the absolute best I've
ever done is -4 after 9 holes. The majority of
the time I'm 1 or 2 under and several times I've been
over. That goddamn sand trap on the 2nd hole? Nothing
more aggrivating. Anything off-green is an automatic 1
stroke penalty (I know some of you "play
through" no matter where the ball lands but I got
sick of chipping more dirt on the green so
I nixed that) and on a course this short, a bogey
will kill you. So difficult to make up
mistakes.
As far as the
construction is concerned as you see in the last entry
it's not really difficult to make. I made one big
mistake however. I spaced the wood on the tee off
boxes (to save what amounts to like 93 cents of wood)
and you can see the lines in the green. UGH. Such an
easy fix to avoid and a nearly impossible thing to fix
now without a ton of work/money. Also, I used
shittier cement which made smoothing it out nearly
impossible for certain parts. If I did it again, the
whole thing would be commercial grade cement and
knowing what I know now I could absolutely
nail it. I can actually see me installing a couple
holes for people with as much as I learned doing
this. It really looks classy and depending on your
backyard? It can actually add a touch of class
with how it's hidden. Some people at the baby shower
never even noticed it. They just assumed there was
some grass around the deck. Crazy huh?
And yes, it is
creative, but don't for a second underestimate just
what deck staining does to extremely rudimentary wood
work. I'm not doing anything too fancy with the
decks/holes but throw a coat of redwood stain on
there? Suddenly you're a master carpenter.
I mean, awesome if you think I am but the
truth of the matter is? I am a freaking
workhorse. That's my biggest talent. Oh and I'm
fearless and think I can accomplish anything in a
week. It is remarkable the amount of things I do
without help but I'm so used to it - it barely occurs
to me anyone would help. You know? People have
their own shit to do, I don't have money to pay them,
and so I do it myself. Golfkon Forever!
