11:31 PM, Friday, July 27th, 2012:
I just knocked in a 15 foot jump shot off the ramp for a hole-in-one on the last hole and got a course record 4 under par 17 like it was The Masters. And I was in my backyard. I'm so goddamned excited to show you what I'm talking about I can't stand it:
What the shit was that? Is that actually in my backyard? Had I any idea how fun that would be, how little space it would take up in the yard, I would have done this years ago. Doing three holes 3 times absolutely feels like real mini-golf and I didn't have to make my backyard hideous in the process. You know? I mean I had thought of this before. Paddy and JT are big time mini-golf guys, in fact, it's a good time to repost this:
Oh jesus the end of that. Forgot about that. Wow. Me locking myself in the spare room and crying in my whiskey because of how bad things were "at home". Talk about a blast of nostalgia. ANYWAY - We went on a boys adventure a couple years ago for Paddy's B-Day and those two are mini-golf crazies. They'll go anywhere to play a new course. Around this time they tried to get me to make a course but I just couldn't see it. You know? In a big open area it just seems like it would be an eyesore. However simply going around the already built 16x16 deck? It looks gorgeous. I mean it actually looks pleasing from a landscaping stand point.
I mean, the wood stain on the deck and even if it's fake - the green is GREEN. In the land of brown and no rain? It's a joy to actually sit and see green.
See the happiness difference from brown to green? LOL. Now in the mornings? I can say to Talya:  "Would you like to have breakfast on the golf course?" and she can say "why of course dear." So pimp. So happy about this. And the space I used for it was space to confined to be anything else. The dogs still have their "bathroom" area (though some form of grass is going over ther, this dirt shit has to go) and we end up with a freaking mini-golf course. Hell I even made scorecards:
Hells YES. Granted, it seems kind of weak to just do the same 3 holes 3 times but it seems completely acceptable while you're doing it. 'Cause you really get to know those holes and your 2nd and 3rd time around you're certain you're gonna get the birdie... and they still aggrivate the hell out of you. Seriously I have played these holes to death and the absolute best I've ever done is -4 after 9 holes. The majority of the time I'm 1 or 2 under and several times I've been over. That goddamn sand trap on the 2nd hole? Nothing more aggrivating. Anything off-green is an automatic 1 stroke penalty (I know some of you "play through" no matter where the ball lands but I got sick of chipping more dirt on the green so I nixed that) and on a course this short, a bogey will kill you. So difficult to make up mistakes.
As far as the construction is concerned as you see in the last entry it's not really difficult to make. I made one big mistake however. I spaced the wood on the tee off boxes (to save what amounts to like 93 cents of wood) and you can see the lines in the green. UGH. Such an easy fix to avoid and a nearly impossible thing to fix now without a ton of work/money. Also, I used shittier cement which made smoothing it out nearly impossible for certain parts. If I did it again, the whole thing would be commercial grade cement and knowing what I know now I could absolutely nail it. I can actually see me installing a couple holes for people with as much as I learned doing this. It really looks classy and depending on your backyard? It can actually add a touch of class with how it's hidden. Some people at the baby shower never even noticed it. They just assumed there was some grass around the deck. Crazy huh?
And yes, it is creative, but don't for a second underestimate just what deck staining does to extremely rudimentary wood work. I'm not doing anything too fancy with the decks/holes but throw a coat of redwood stain on there? Suddenly you're a master carpenter. I mean, awesome if you think I am but the truth of the matter is? I am a freaking workhorse. That's my biggest talent. Oh and I'm fearless and think I can accomplish anything in a week. It is remarkable the amount of things I do without help but I'm so used to it - it barely occurs to me anyone would help. You know? People have their own shit to do, I don't have money to pay them, and so I do it myself. Golfkon Forever!
YAY. Come play! Beat my 17!