I am (and always
will be) a bit of a yo-yo dieter. Once I embraced
that, I was a whole lot happier. About once a year I
realize I'm a slob and need to eat less and move more.
I generally do, and I'm quite accustomed to the
fluctuation. I know my genetics well, and it will
always be a ridiculous amount of work to
maintain a healthy weight. I pray my kid gets Talya's
genes.
Of course this
go-round is the worst it's ever been since 2001. I
have never hit 190 and after the trip to
Columbus I most certainly did. Usually I hit
180, freak out and work my way down to 160ish.
Amazingly the jump from 180-190? Was simply the week
in New York and the week in Columbus. Yup, all the
walking in New York didn't matter. Even hardly eating
anything the last few days in Columbus and
SHARING most of my food with Talya...
I still gained 10 full pounds in those 2 weeks.
My body desperately aches to be heavy. However, the
best part about hitting 190? The beginning of the
diet/workout regime. It's always the best part. It's
the easiest first 10 pounds ever...
...except this
time. Everyone said I was crazy and assured me I
wasn't going to get to 155-160 while my wife was
pregnant. Sorry Adam, it goes the other way. And with
good reason. You're 100% focused on your wife and if
your wife wants krispy kreme, you're getting krispy
kreme. I mean, are you really gonna sit and
watch that food be eaten? Of course not. And in
my life? I never have. Ever. I need a pretty
controlled environment to pull off my weight loss. Yet
somehow? Someway? I have perservered through the
hardest situations for me - ever.
How 'bout Talya
and her mother sharing a plate of nachos while
I drink water? Not a bite. I've now gone out to
eat probably a dozen times on this diet and had
absolutely nothing. I'm staying at 1200 calories a
day, and simply can't eat out. I don't know how
I do it. To make things worse? Ready for this?
This has never happened to me in the history of Adam
Kontras:
They left a good
quarter of the nachos on the plate? And the waiter
took it away. And I didn't finish it. No. That
doesn't happen to me. Only thing harder for me than
giving up free food? WASTING free food. Honestly, as
he picked up the plate I said "no, wait..." and
then realized I couldn't eat it anyway... and he
TOOK THE FOOD AWAY AND THREW IT OUT.
I actually feel guilty. LOL. Call it a product of
growing up poor, but that is something I cannot
do. I am the clean-plater of the CENTURY.
I clean my plate, your plate and if they let me?
The plates of the table behind us. If it's gonna be
thrown out? I feel like it's my job to save it from
being wasted. It is burned in my
brain...
...but I keep
on goin'.
Now that Talya is
feeling better? Cravings cravings cravings. And add in
the guy renting the guesthouse who just so happens to
have a new girlfriend who is a BAKER and he's on the
binge of a lifetime. Donuts, cookies, pizza, every
fucking thing (which of course Talya loves). We're
watching a movie last night? In comes Jon with Krispy
Kreme. I say no. I don't know how I'm doing it.
I really don't. Absolutely nothing can change my
mind. I haven't had this type of will... ever?
The thing is,
I want to be with Talya no matter what. So if
she's going out to eat with her mom, I eat my
portioned chicken and quinoa/rice and then go with
them to keep company. I may steal a tiny bite, but
I even work that into my calories. I'm just
going to do this. Period. I am NOT fat,
bearded Adam. That was a trick to mess with everyone
in Ohio. My goal is Comedy Central Adam (which even
with intense dieting and working out is another 2 1/2
months away). Yup, healthy weight loss is a painfully
slow 2.5 pounds a week (after the initial loss the
first week 'cause you're body is used to being so
sedintary).
The good thing
is... I have an instruction manual that's suited
specifically to my body which tells me exactly what
I have to do (30 minutes of cardio each day) and
exactly how much to eat (1200 calories a day) to lose
weight. Other people may need more, but since I'm only
active 30 minutes a day? Anything more and I GAIN
weight. Seriously, with my metabolism, 1500 calories a
day is my absolute limit. Any more and I gain at
a lightening pace. Sad but true.
And every other
day, my cardio of choice is running. Ugh. So
I made this video...
Seriously hate it.
Nothing about my body enjoys running, but honestly?
Nothing comes close to how much of a workout it is.
I guess swimming does, but with swimming it's so
easy to coast. With running, you're either running or
you're NOT running. And if you maintain the motion,
you will work your ass OUT. I've had to go every other
day simply to save my legs. Shin splints and knee
problems will now persist throughout my life and since
I don't want to quit all together I'm doubling my
rest. It will soon be 2 days in between. C'est La
Vie...
...but everything
else? Really is an excuse. As I've said in every entry
I've ever written about working out and eating right -
the way you combat not wanting to do that? Is you
don't. If you don't want it, you won't do it. I happen
to want the old me back here very badly. So badly that
I will take the period of my life which is supposed to
be relaxing and enjoying the weight you normally gain
with your wife and challenge myself even
harder.
