11:00 AM, Monday, April 9th, 2012:
It just isn't a trip without a randoms entry. :-)
1) The Setup
The video says it best:
That's right. I'm settin' you guys up. Fat, bearded and happy. A momentum you can't possibly fight and if I really think I'm gonna lose weight this year and be in a better place career-wise than BEFORE the pregnancy? I must be out of my mind...
...or you all still have no idea how strong I am. So I'm handing you the set-up. I'm putting even more pressure on me. Which isn't even close to what I've been through. So, HA.
2) Defining the Trap
Because I felt like I sacrificed a family for so long, I'm well aware of the comfort trap I'm in. Believe me. You can't be this blissfully happy for well over a year and not understand that your soul is gonna want to latch onto that. I've never known happiness this complete. It's overwhelming. And the way I look right now shows that. Easily 30 pounds heavier than I should be, big beard with lots of grey - I look nothing like the man just over 2 years ago, fighting for a spot on Comedy Central. I look like I've fallen into that comfort trap and of course, the truth is I have. Can't deny that. But I will surprise all of you, and jump out of it. My mind is set. I will be the best husband in the world, the best father in the world and that combination? Is what will define my career.
3) Wait, what career is that?
Like I fucking know that. LMAO. Had I tried to define Adam & The Egos on CBS' The Early Show before it happened I would've never made it. I just did "me"... and it worked for that moment in time. "Me" however is becoming a differnt person with different hats and labels and I have no fear of that change because it's absolutely who I am. So I'm just going to work that into what I do. The love I have for my family will define who I am more than anything else I've ever done. You cannot fake that sincerity and conversely, you can't fake giving a fuck about something that you don't care about. I always create through these transitions and something within the transition leads to the next break. For the first time in a long time, I really can't wait to see what that is.
4) The Journey Movie
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGh. I just, can't, do it. I mean, most people must think that I "live in the past" because I chronicle so much and hold past entries/video in such high regard... but the truth is? I live in the moment and really, really, really don't want to relive much of the past. The Journey movie is excruciating for me because it's SO GODDAMN REAL. So for a year I've needed to redo some copyrighted songs and begin the push for film festivals... and are you kidding me? How much more sadistic can I be to myself? And it kills me because it's a great story and a unique way to tell it. It nearly killed me to finish it and I don't think I've ever been more proud of it - but it took my soul. And there is no soul left to "pimp" it. It's a common issue with artists I wish desperately I could help alleviate. You know, maybe we could help each other? Hmmm. Is this a eureka moment? Starting a group of artists that have projects they can't keep pushing that need representation to "Sell"... but they'd gladly push something else? Or am I thinking too highly of a group of people that are usually quite competitive and selfish? I may need to sit on this for a bit, but I may just be really tired. <shrug> Either way, I do not have it in me to complete that film for festivals and may never. I just want to move on.
5) Intimidating as SHIT
...which is what I wanted to do at the airport in LA (John Wayne in Orange County to be exact) but my name and beard kept that from happening. I was straight up harassed by the TSA agent and I'll admit, I was a little worried. Ya know how Chris Rock does that bit where he says the cop is so adament that it made him think he had stolen his own car? Yeah, this dude was so convincing I started wondering if I had some shit in my pockets or if he knew about my "Let's Bomb Iran" cartoon or something. It started off innocently enough:
"Adam CONTRA... hmmm... where you headin' today sir?"
I told him New York. I was actually half-asleep because it was hella-early and my mind was pretty slow. I recognized he wanted me to talk so he could see if I had an accent and I should've explained the whole NY - DC - Columbus trip, but I just said those two words which was clearly not enough. The dude was a little shorter than me, shaved head, beady eyes... holy shit - he looked exactly like this:
OK, I'm starting to freak out right now. As I was typing this I remembered this picture from my march in DC in 2005. This was a pro-war dude. It's probably because I've known this picture for 7 years and I only had one moment with the TSA Agent, but in my head? They're the exact, same, person. Spooky.
So he kept looking at my picture and ticket and I rested my arms his podium. He proceeded to lift HIS arms up and step back to make the podium move (as it was on wheels). It moved just a bit but I remained steady. He gets intimidating.
"Yeah. That's on wheels, isn't it."
It still takes me a second to realize he's trying to get me to move... and I finally put my hands up.
"My bad dawg, my bad." I said, surprised.
I didn't mean to call him "dawg" it was just kind of how I talk, especially half asleep. Somewhat slurred and just, not really paying attention to elocution. Hearing myself however I woke up a bit...
"I really had no idea that was on wheels." I said respectfully.
Then I start thinking about what had happened and remembered him jumping back to make the podium move. And I'm now completely aware he's trying to intimidate me or make me say something. I wanted to just request to be taken in a room and be strip searched because I honestly don't give a fuck. Strip me, violate my rights... I guess I make a bad American in these situations because I just want to get on the plane. If feelin' me up helps? Cool. I was too tired to start any shit.
While I was thinking of all this I'm looking behind him to his left (though not focusing on anything). Even louder he quips:
"Yeah! You see the sheriff behind me? See him go past?"
At this point I look him dead in the eyes and say:
"Brother, you are way more awake then I am right now."
"I'm just doin' my job man. DOING. MY. JOB."
I now continue eye contact with him fully aware some shit is going to go down, because I look like this:
...and my name is Kontras. So he lets me pass and then I see some cops congregate at the x-ray thingees and when I meet up with Talya and her mom I say:  "Yeah, I may need to go get searched". We all thought it was kind of funny. I think her mom said:  "Uhm, I'm with her." LMAO. However, I went through, nothing went off, and they never even checked my bag. So, well, there ya go. I guess that was just a hepped-up-on-coffee TSA agent that was trying to get a rise out of me and I didn't take the bait. But (and the liberals are just gonna love this)...
6) Profile the FUCK out of me (at an airport)
If I'm just driving down the road or minding my own business I have a problem with profiling, but at an airport? Where we're all trapped 30,000 feet in the air? Fuck the PC shit, if I look like a terrorist, do EXACTLY what that guy did. It just so happens that a bunch of dudes with my coloring fucked some shit up. That's life. How the shoe-bomber got on a plane without being searched is beyond me. You think it's a violation of your rights? THEN DRIVE. Sure I'd prefer it not to happen, but at the end of the day? That TSA agent will be the one to catch some dude. And again, this is only at an airport. I think about flying differently. Way more lives at stake. Kinda like buying a gun. Lives at stake. Background check the SHIT out of that guy. Seems like common sense to me.

And eating this if you visit Columbus is also common sense. Though, I admittedly shared this. Even eating "whatever I want" while I'm in C-Bus? I would like to be able to walk after I leave. My favorite combination of all cheeseburgers has been the old "fried egg/bacon/cheese" mixture. It's just perfect. And at the Thurman Cafe, everything usually is. I know so many people from Columbus who have never been here and it blows my mind. One of the top 3 burger places I've ever been to. Dig it.

8) Graeter's
And while we're pimpin' Columbus eateries, you have to mention Graeter's. I'm not exactly an ice cream connoisseur, but their black cherry ice cream is, I believe the term is, redonk-a-donk. I know of nothing else there because I can never pass it up. I usually have it in between two chocolate chip cookies. It's so good you don't even feel guilty afterwards. You know what I mean? Like, you go to McDonalds and an hour later you're like "really? Did I really need to do that?" After Graeter's? There's none of that. It's a clear:  "Oh yeah, that was well worth the 1000 calories.
9) 24-7 Sick
Unless you're not gonna keep it down anyway, so who cares, right? Okay, clearly this pic needs an explanation before I act like it's totally normal.
Talya has now been nauseous for nearly 10 weeks straight. It's no longer this private, shame filled moment... it's a part of our life. I sat with her for hours on the bathroom floor hangin' out and having a good time. When she finally did puke? We were giggling and pointing out items: "OOOH a NOODLE!!!". That actually happened while I was next to her brushing my teeth. I looked and said:  "Yup!" and continued.
It isn't gross to me, it isn't embarrassing, it just, kind of is. And if Talya felt any differently she would NEVER have smiled for this picture or let me take it. Many people on Facebook couldn't believe I would snap this but ya just gotta believe that we're over the inital "suckage" of this nausea. It has just kind of become part of our routine. And of course, she wasn't puking at the time. She would continue to sit on that rug for seriously another 2 hours waiting for it to happen. <shrugs> It's actually an endearing memory for me. She certainly doesn't share my feelings to that extent, but she did laugh at this picture. :-)
10) Oh were you looking at that?
If you look closely you can juuuuuuuust make out an iPad in that picture. The cat and Talya decided I shouldn't be focusing on that and let me know in their own sweet ways. :) I do miss cats from time to time, but with the dogs I feel like I have everything cats give and I don't have to clean a litter box.
Dogs FTW.
11) Travelin' with the Mother-in-law
It is just now occurring to me that most men probably wouldn't be all too hip to be travelin' for two weeks with the mother in law. Would you believe me if I wouldn't have had it any other way? I mean, sure Talya and I would love a romantic getaway, but we're not really the types. Ya know? Adventures are far more fun to us. And we'll feel the exact same with the kids as well. There will be no resorts and very few destination spots in our next 20 years. When it's time we will take on the challenge of simply "living" for a bit in another place. Her mother travels the same way. Even in NY and DC we planned nothing and just kinda did what came naturally. Somehow we pulled off the rental car to DC as well as the hotel, got the car to Columbus, timed everything alright - even saw my dad perform the night we got in (ooh, that has to be a random)... it was very easy going and not just because Talya was sick the whole time... it's just the kind of people we are. There will be a lifetimes of trips with her in the future. I mean, duh, someone has to take the kids to lunch while Talya and I "clean up" the hotel room.
12) These Guys Live
My dad has been in a dozen bands and they've all been good. He wouldn't be part of something he didn't believe in and that's to be expected...
...but I would venture to say (with Doug Smith being the closest) his current lead singer is so goddamned good it actually feels like you're getting punk'd.
Michael Doctor is so effortlessly pitch-perfect I felt the need to move closer to make sure he was actually singing. They're doin' high-range, ACDC stuff and he's floatin' through it. It's spectacular. I mean, it's a given that instrumentally they would be on, again my dad is supremely talented and meticulously detailed to say the least, but lead vocals make the difference. They are the quarterback. And there's a reason this band is booked like crazy. I feel bad bringing this up without a video, but hopefully I'll get one before the year is out. Already did my video for this entry. :-)
It's already scary when a tornado warning breaks into your radio and you realize it's not a test. When you're on the endless highway that is 70 and you have NO idea what the counties are? Oh, you'd better believe it's some scary shit. So Talya was none-too-happy when she sees the storm clouds and hears the guy on the radio say (literally) "TAKE COVER NOW".
I knew it was north of us and tried to calm their fears. Then later heard that 45 minutes after we passed through that section of 70? Funnel clouds were forming (never touched down). Whew. Sorry 'bout that. Though, being scared wasn't gonna help. Luckily we got to my dad's gig and rode out the storm. But man, what a shitty feeling it must be to hear a list of counties that might as well be in GREEK along with "TAKE COVER NOW". BWahahahahaha. So not funny. LMAO. So funny.
Ahem. Let's end this...
14) Instagramable
You know in attempting to capture another time with these hipstamatic/instagram pics we're kinda just marking THIS time period with funny pics we'll look back on and say:  "Oh yeah, that's when everyone was taking pics in the teens that looked like the 60s." But so what, this is cool:
It just is. :) But I still contend that we will look back on these "timeless" photos with some giggles. What I do like is the ability to instantly brand a photo how you like. I hope more filters will come to pass that do the same thing, but not in an effort to be timeless, but to just be creative. It's starting now of course and for someone chronicling so much? It's a welcomed addition to my freaking PHONE because I don't have to do near the work as I used to. And? You can easily follow on Facebook if you don't want to go through these LONNNNNNNNG ass entries.
But thank you for doing so. :-)