That's right. I'm
settin' you guys up. Fat, bearded and happy. A
momentum you can't possibly fight and if I really
think I'm gonna lose weight this year and be in a
better place career-wise than BEFORE the pregnancy? I
must be out of my mind...
...or you all
still have no idea how strong I am. So I'm
handing you the set-up. I'm putting even more pressure
on me. Which isn't even close to what I've been
through. So, HA.
2) Defining the
Trap
Because
I felt like I sacrificed a family for so
long, I'm well aware of the comfort trap I'm in.
Believe me. You can't be this blissfully happy
for well over a year and not understand that your soul
is gonna want to latch onto that. I've never known
happiness this complete. It's overwhelming. And the
way I look right now shows that. Easily 30 pounds
heavier than I should be, big beard with lots of
grey - I look nothing like the man just over 2 years
ago, fighting for a spot on Comedy Central. I look
like I've fallen into that comfort trap and of course,
the truth is I have. Can't deny that. But
I will surprise all of you, and jump out of it. My
mind is set. I will be the best husband in the
world, the best father in the world and that
combination? Is what will define my career.
3) Wait, what
career is that?
Like
I fucking know that. LMAO. Had I tried to
define Adam & The Egos on CBS' The Early Show
before it happened I would've never made it. I
just did "me"... and it worked for that moment in
time. "Me" however is becoming a differnt person with
different hats and labels and I have no fear of that
change because it's absolutely who I am. So I'm
just going to work that into what I do. The love
I have for my family will define who I am
more than anything else I've ever done. You cannot
fake that sincerity and conversely, you can't fake
giving a fuck about something that you don't care
about. I always create through these transitions and
something within the transition leads to the next
break. For the first time in a long time,
I really can't wait to see what that
is.
4) The Journey
Movie
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGh.
I just, can't, do it. I mean, most people
must think that I "live in the past" because
I chronicle so much and hold past entries/video
in such high regard... but the truth is? I live
in the moment and really, really, really don't want to
relive much of the past. The Journey movie is
excruciating for me because it's
SO GODDAMN REAL. So for a year I've needed
to redo some copyrighted songs and begin the push for
film festivals... and are you kidding me? How much
more sadistic can I be to myself? And it kills me
because it's a great story and a unique way to tell
it. It nearly killed me to finish it and I
don't think I've ever been more proud of it - but it
took my soul. And there is no soul left to
"pimp" it. It's a common issue with artists I
wish desperately I could help alleviate. You
know, maybe we could help each other? Hmmm. Is this a
eureka moment? Starting a group of artists that have
projects they can't keep pushing that need
representation to "Sell"... but they'd gladly push
something else? Or am I thinking too highly of a
group of people that are usually quite competitive and
selfish? I may need to sit on this for a bit, but
I may just be really tired. <shrug> Either
way, I do not have it in me to complete that film for
festivals and may never. I just want to move
on.
5) Intimidating as
SHIT
...which is what
I wanted to do at the airport in LA (John Wayne
in Orange County to be exact) but my name and beard
kept that from happening. I was straight
up harassed by the TSA agent and I'll admit,
I was a little worried. Ya know how Chris Rock
does that bit where he says the cop is so adament that
it made him think he had stolen his own car? Yeah,
this dude was so convincing I started wondering
if I had some shit in my pockets or if he knew
about my "Let's Bomb Iran" cartoon or something.
It started off innocently enough:
"Adam CONTRA...
hmmm... where you headin' today sir?"
I told him New
York. I was actually half-asleep because it was
hella-early and my mind was pretty slow.
I recognized he wanted me to talk so he could see
if I had an accent and I should've explained
the whole NY - DC - Columbus trip, but I just said
those two words which was clearly not enough. The dude
was a little shorter than me, shaved head, beady
eyes... holy shit - he looked exactly like
this:
OK, I'm starting
to freak out right now. As I was typing this
I remembered this picture from my march in DC in
2005. This was a pro-war dude. It's probably
because I've known this picture for 7 years and
I only had one moment with the TSA Agent,
but in my head? They're the exact, same, person.
Spooky.
So he kept looking
at my picture and ticket and I rested my arms his
podium. He proceeded to lift HIS arms up and step back
to make the podium move (as it was on wheels). It
moved just a bit but I remained steady. He gets
intimidating.
"Yeah. That's
on wheels, isn't it."
It still takes me
a second to realize he's trying to get me to move...
and I finally put my hands up.
"My bad dawg,
my bad." I said, surprised.
I didn't mean to
call him "dawg" it was just kind of how I talk,
especially half asleep. Somewhat slurred and just, not
really paying attention to elocution. Hearing myself
however I woke up a bit...
"I really had
no idea that was on wheels." I said
respectfully.
Then I start
thinking about what had happened and remembered him
jumping back to make the podium move. And I'm now
completely aware he's trying to intimidate me or make
me say something. I wanted to just request to be
taken in a room and be strip searched because
I honestly don't give a fuck. Strip me, violate
my rights... I guess I make a bad American in these
situations because I just want to get on the plane. If
feelin' me up helps? Cool. I was too tired to start
any shit.
While I was
thinking of all this I'm looking behind him to his
left (though not focusing on anything). Even louder he
quips:
"Yeah! You see
the sheriff behind me? See him go
past?"
At this point
I look him dead in the eyes and say:
"Brother, you
are way more awake then I am right
now."
"I'm just doin'
my job man. DOING. MY. JOB."
I now
continue eye contact with him fully aware some shit is
going to go down, because I look like
this:
...and my name is
Kontras. So he lets me pass and then I see some
cops congregate at the x-ray thingees and when
I meet up with Talya and her mom
I say: "Yeah, I may need to go get
searched". We all thought it was kind of funny.
I think her mom said: "Uhm, I'm with her."
LMAO. However, I went through, nothing went off,
and they never even checked my bag. So, well, there ya
go. I guess that was just a hepped-up-on-coffee
TSA agent that was trying to get a rise out of me
and I didn't take the bait. But (and the liberals
are just gonna love this)...
6) Profile the
FUCK out of me (at an airport)
If I'm just
driving down the road or minding my own business
I have a problem with profiling, but at an
airport? Where we're all trapped 30,000 feet in the
air? Fuck the PC shit, if I look like a
terrorist, do EXACTLY what that guy did. It just so
happens that a bunch of dudes with my coloring fucked
some shit up. That's life. How the shoe-bomber got on
a plane without being searched is beyond me. You think
it's a violation of your rights? THEN DRIVE. Sure
I'd prefer it not to happen, but at the end of the
day? That TSA agent will be the one to catch some
dude. And again, this is only at an airport. I think
about flying differently. Way more lives at stake.
Kinda like buying a gun. Lives at stake. Background
check the SHIT out of that guy. Seems like common
sense to me.
7)
THURMAN'S
And eating
this if you visit Columbus is also common
sense. Though, I admittedly shared this. Even
eating "whatever I want" while I'm in
C-Bus? I would like to be able to walk after
I leave. My favorite combination of all
cheeseburgers has been the old "fried
egg/bacon/cheese" mixture. It's just perfect.
And at the Thurman Cafe, everything usually
is. I know so many people from Columbus
who have never been here and it blows my
mind. One of the top 3 burger places I've
ever been to. Dig it.
8)
Graeter's
And
while we're pimpin' Columbus eateries, you
have to mention Graeter's. I'm not exactly
an ice cream connoisseur, but their black
cherry ice cream is, I believe the
term is, redonk-a-donk. I know of nothing
else there because I can never pass
it up. I usually have it in between two
chocolate chip cookies. It's so good you
don't even feel guilty afterwards. You
know what I mean? Like, you go to
McDonalds and an hour later you're like
"really? Did I really need to do
that?" After Graeter's? There's none of
that. It's a clear: "Oh yeah, that
was well worth the 1000 calories.
:)
9) 24-7
Sick
Unless
you're not gonna keep it down anyway, so
who cares, right? Okay, clearly this pic
needs an explanation before I act
like it's totally normal.
Talya
has now been nauseous for nearly 10 weeks
straight. It's no longer this private,
shame filled moment... it's a part of our
life. I sat with her for hours on the
bathroom floor hangin' out and having a
good time. When she finally did puke? We
were giggling and pointing out items:
"OOOH a NOODLE!!!". That actually
happened while I was next to her
brushing my teeth. I looked and
said: "Yup!" and
continued.
It isn't gross to
me, it isn't embarrassing, it just, kind of is. And if
Talya felt any differently she would NEVER have smiled
for this picture or let me take it. Many people on
Facebook couldn't believe I would snap this but
ya just gotta believe that we're over the
inital "suckage" of this nausea. It has just kind of
become part of our routine. And of course, she wasn't
puking at the time. She would continue to sit on that
rug for seriously another 2 hours waiting for it to
happen. <shrugs> It's actually an endearing
memory for me. She certainly doesn't share my feelings
to that extent, but she did laugh at this
picture. :-)
10) Oh were you
looking at that?
If you
look closely you can juuuuuuuust make out
an iPad in that picture. The cat and Talya
decided I shouldn't be focusing on
that and let me know in their own sweet
ways. :) I do miss cats from time to
time, but with the dogs I feel like
I have everything cats give and
I don't have to clean a litter box.
Dogs
FTW.
11) Travelin' with
the Mother-in-law
It is just now
occurring to me that most men probably wouldn't be all
too hip to be travelin' for two weeks with the mother
in law. Would you believe me if I wouldn't have had it
any other way? I mean, sure Talya and
I would love a romantic getaway, but we're not
really the types. Ya know? Adventures are far more fun
to us. And we'll feel the exact same with the kids as
well. There will be no resorts and very few
destination spots in our next 20 years. When it's time
we will take on the challenge of simply "living" for a
bit in another place. Her mother travels the same way.
Even in NY and DC we planned nothing and just
kinda did what came naturally. Somehow we pulled off
the rental car to DC as well as the hotel, got the car
to Columbus, timed everything alright - even saw my
dad perform the night we got in (ooh, that has to be a
random)... it was very easy going and not just because
Talya was sick the whole time... it's just the kind of
people we are. There will be a lifetimes of trips with
her in the future. I mean, duh, someone has to
take the kids to lunch while Talya and I "clean
up" the hotel room.
:-)
12) These Guys
Live
My dad
has been in a dozen bands and they've all
been good. He wouldn't be part of
something he didn't believe in and that's
to be expected...
...but
I would venture to say (with Doug
Smith being the closest) his current lead
singer is so goddamned good it
actually feels like you're getting punk'd.
Michael
Doctor is so effortlessly pitch-perfect I
felt the need to move closer to make sure
he was actually singing. They're doin'
high-range, ACDC stuff and he's floatin'
through it. It's spectacular. I mean, it's
a given that instrumentally they would be
on, again my dad is supremely talented and
meticulously detailed to say the least,
but lead vocals make the difference. They
are the quarterback. And there's a reason
this band is booked like crazy.
I feel bad bringing this up without a
video, but hopefully I'll get one before
the year is out. Already did my video for
this entry. :-)
13) WHERE IS KNOX COUNTY?
It's already scary
when a tornado warning breaks into your radio and you
realize it's not a test. When you're on the endless
highway that is 70 and you have NO idea what the
counties are? Oh, you'd better believe it's some scary
shit. So Talya was none-too-happy when she sees the
storm clouds and hears the guy on the radio say
(literally) "TAKE COVER NOW".
LMFAO.
I knew it was
north of us and tried to calm their fears. Then later
heard that 45 minutes after we passed through that
section of 70? Funnel clouds were forming (never
touched down). Whew. Sorry 'bout that. Though, being
scared wasn't gonna help. Luckily we got to my dad's
gig and rode out the storm. But man, what a shitty
feeling it must be to hear a list of counties that
might as well be in GREEK along with
"TAKE COVER NOW". BWahahahahaha. So not
funny. LMAO. So funny.
Ahem. Let's end
this...
14)
Instagramable
You know in
attempting to capture another time with these
hipstamatic/instagram pics we're kinda just marking
THIS time period with funny pics we'll look back
on and say: "Oh yeah, that's when everyone was
taking pics in the teens that looked like the 60s."
But so what, this is cool:
It just is. :) But
I still contend that we will look back on these
"timeless" photos with some giggles. What I do
like is the ability to instantly brand a photo how you
like. I hope more filters will come to pass that
do the same thing, but not in an effort to be
timeless, but to just be creative. It's starting now
of course and for someone chronicling so much? It's a
welcomed addition to my freaking PHONE because
I don't have to do near the work as I used
to. And? You can easily follow on Facebook if you
don't want to go through these LONNNNNNNNG ass
entries.
