A couple weeks ago
I saw this tweet from one of the "mean
Nancy Drew. 2
months of locked entries after saying "Let's Make
Babies"... uhm, wonder why that could be? Trying to be
"correct" and waiting until the second trimester for
it to be public is probably the worst kept secret to
anyone following The Journey, but she felt the need to
post that. The meanness comes in that fact that she
had warned Talya I would soon divorce her "like all
the others" (though that never actually happened) and
continues to make fun of Talya on her twitter feed.
Feel free to follow for more fun. :) I find it amusing
of course because I already know the ending, so it's
fun to watch people dead-set on your unhappiness have
to spin all the happy moments in your life. It's like
watching the GOP spin good economic news. Of course
Talya and I are so sickeningly in love and happy about
the baby inside her it would make even our family roll
ther eyes. More loving tears in 2 months than in the
entire time we've known each other. Just a wonderful,
wonderful time for us...
tweet hurt Talya. A bunch. I barely knew her friend
other than the few months we spent with her and her
husband. I liked them both and had no reason to feel
otherwise until the online attacks. Talya however had
a 5 year relationship, was in her wedding... so it
still hurts as she runs through all the moments we
spent together thinking everyone was happy. And to
have some creepy tweet like that just shows how
disconnected she is from any reality but her own. We
are overjoyed (as I said above) to the point of
daily tears and we understand that she never wants
children and we respect that... but even as an "ex"
friend, you can't even be happy someone else is happy?
I mean as I said in the entry last month... at
some point you'd imagine they'd say to themselves:
"Hmm, they're pretty happy, we'll move on." Not yet
apparently. I mean, I was legitimately happy for
her when a parody song she did got popular and had
40,000 views. I know how that feels, it's great!
I hoped she would get some happiness out of the
recognition 'cause in the end, all her venom comes
from an inner unhappiness no one can address except
her. And I REALLY RELATE to that. It's why Talya
thought we'd get along, we have such a similar
background and career ambitions. I remember what it
felt like to have all my happiness come from my
"career". It will eat your soul. LOL.
THANK THE FUCK CHRIST I found happiness
within these pages and could treat the "career" as the
silly game that it is. I meet with Tammy & Steve
in 2 days because of that silly game... but it won't
affect my happiness either way. Anyway, I thought
she got a piece of that with the success of her video
and I was happy for her. And then that tweet. Not sure
why she wanted to publically send that message to
Talya but it certainly has negative overtones
considering she has said that I will leave her in the
wind... now with a baby. It's just, well,
So Talya wrote a
blog about it and it's heart-wrenching for me to
that you felt I slighted you. That was never my
you felt the need to attack me after I didnt
take your side.
you always looked for the negative and continue to
positivity is so difficult for you to see.
happiness is impossible for you to accept, in
others and in yourself.
you are only able to see things from your
I was able to see your side and not agree with you.
my seeming naive upsets you so much.
that what you saw as naive was not naive at all,
but the willingness to jump and be happy while
knowing my partner has a past.
that past doesnt scare me like it scares you.
you didnt feel like you could talk to me when
you had concerns.
it was too late when I addressed them.
I couldnt convince you.
you felt the need to be so mean to me. And my
you dont appreciate his art.
you couldnt have any empathy for me when I
told you why I couldnt deal with your
seemingly small issue.
youre waiting for me to get divorced.
you think Im stupid.
you couldnt share in the best day of my life.
you believe it was just one little disagreement.
that Ill never get to laugh at your jokes
you seem to enjoy poking fun at me.
I saw the real you.
it still hurts me.
...and also very
beautiful. My favorite part is the vulnerability at
the end. She is sensitive. It does hurt. And admitting
it unabashedly is the bravest thing you can do. Don't
hide it. Don't act like you're better than the person,
that they can't hurt you... say it loud, say it with
love and say it publically - because it's the truth.
It really does set you free of your issues. It is a
beautiful therapy to write.
And that is a
beautiful woman. Love ya Talya. I swear the
nausea will end.