Yeah, kinda. I
guess the truth is no matter how happy I am there
will always be that tiny part of me that is just a
little bitter at how that whole career thing
turned out. I've been trying to avoid looking at the
highlights because parts are so goddamned good you
just get angry that I fell so quickly every time
I got anywhere. But that brings us to today: my
singing demo. Part of what I alluded to at the end of
last month with the production company Gary works for,
I put together my singing demo (voiceover demo is
next) to get some legitimate work. Take a
look/listen...
16 little pieces
and honestly, could've been so many more. It's clearly
too long for a demo, but the truth is? Most people
will watch 2 minutes and shut it off. The rest is just
if you like what you see. And man there was so much
other stuff on WTVN, so many voices that
I could've sang with but the truth is - that
really gives you a good idea of what I can do.
Very hard for me to swallow that all of that = singing
in commercials, but I want a family so I'm getting
used to it. I have a fuckton of sellable talents and
it's certainly time to cash-in.
Now, it's not that
I find anything wrong with being in commercials
(I'm certainly not that artist), it's just
really hard for me to accept as all encompassing. You
mean in the end, that talent only equals
singing jingles? Whew. As I said before, it's
bittersweet and the only thing that's pushing this now
is me wanting a family. I have a blessed, simple,
wonderful life staring me in the face and all
I have to do is put my talents out
there...
...and it
certainly puts a lump in my throat. Lemme watch that
again...
Damnit, I will do
anything for my family but I'm completely aware of the
shift and as I watch that demo? I can't help but
shake my head at what could've been. I know
I did everything I could, but goddamn... with
just a little help - how much could that talent
have been rewarded? It's unreal. Stay positive, stay
happy - yes - but this "bittersweet feeling" is coming
from a different place. My heart/soul/mind IS happy...
this is coming from straight-up logic. And I know
damn well there is more than enough there to make one
helluva career. That career was mishandled to a
disastrous degree while I continually one-upped myself
professionally at CBS. One truly connected pair of
helping hands would've... could've...
should've...
Whew.
So, moving ahead?
Here's hoping this gets me some work and allows me to
stick to those wedding vows and make babies. :-) If
I listen to my heart, I'll end up in the right
place. Always have.
