If every year of
The Journey is a chapter, this was easily, without a
doubt, not even close... the happiest from beginning
to end ever. This was nearly 100% about how happy
I was all year with a few little dramas from the
outside world thrown in... almost for intrigue. It's
boring how happy I was this year. And the fact
that it came after the hardest year of my life?
Is just poetic. No other way to put it. 2011 was
everything I needed... and it really almost never
happened.
The day before
Talya and I made it official on December 28th,
I wrote a depressing entry about being completely
lost. I was self-centered in my own world, taking
stock of a HORRENDOUS year, and knowing I had no
direction. And then, suddenly, I looked at Talya
and said: I'm done being sad. And I gave up
everything. Every dream, every scheme, I just
decided to follow what felt good (believe it or not,
I rarely do that) and what felt good was focusing
on someone else. I just left all the bad shit
behind because it really was bad. It wasn't just my
attitude, no, 2010 was so bad you just had to let it
go. And the wonder of someone looking back at you and
NOT seeing a broken mess? Oh that was
intoxicating... and BOOM 2011 began.
As the days passed
we became more and more enamored with each other and
just how easy everything is. I remember saying to her
"well, real life hasn't happened yet..." and
thennnnnnnnnnnnnn the pregnancy scare. For about 10
days at the beginning of February we were certain she
was pregnant. Her mother knew and a what happened
surprised the hell out of me: everyone was cool.
I was excited, Talya was excited... her mother
was excited. We started making decisions, started
accepting it and no one was upset... we were all
freaking THRILLED. I couldn't believe it. As I've said
to people since - pregnancy scares make or break your
relationship. They really do. 'Cause there's no
turning back. You see what everyone is made of right
at that moment.
It was all handled
so well that I realized this was who
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I
finally felt like I was home. I had family
around me as well... it was an absolute dream for me.
The irony, is it was the same situation that
essentially broke up me and Jess. A pregnancy
scare leading to Jess realizing she wasn't home, and
me realizing if we actually had a kid... she would
want to go back. Within 6 months we split up
specifically to avoid that scenario. Again, nothing
brings a relationship to a head faster than a
pregnancy scare.
And then May came
along and massive life changes dominated our peaceful
"floating". Get a load of this...
Talya's ex finally
decides he "loves" her after never being able to say
those words while he was actually with her. He's on
her about being "friends" and joining the Landmark
Forum. Annoyed, I write a pissy Beatles parody to
"You're gonna lose that girl" letting him know that
"You went and lost that girl". The same day I recorded
"The Proposal Song". I had picked out the ring and was
planning on proposing to Talya in June back in Ohio
where I was premiering my documentary. One of
Talya's friends critiques the "pissy" song as bad
form, and when I reply (actually saying I was
wrong to assume her friends had the same information
about him that I did - I believe the man invented new
horribly shitty things to say to a woman) all hell
breaks loose. "I'll be there when he divorces you like
all the others..." Caddy line after caddy line... and
in the midst of all of it? Talya's mother leaves her
father. 100% of our focus and energy is on this
extremely traumatic event and her "friend" just can't
understand why we don't want to play in her hurtful
drama. She's makes an ultimatum to a girlfriend to
choose her or her man and is surprised the girl
picks... her MOM? It was so bizarre we had to giggle.
We were focusing on her family! We weren't even
drawing a line with the friend, we were simply asking
her to give us some fucking space while we deal with
the explosion of our immediate family as well as our
trip to Ohio, the proposal, editing my documentary...
but as we all learn from moments like this,
narcissistic people want it to be about them every,
single, moment. They dominate the conversation from
beginning to end and in situations where they feel
wronged? They scratch and claw without any
consideration of someone else's feelings. She proved
it over and over... hell and she continues to today.
Nothing like writing a final blog of the year and
never mentioning your husband. I'm the controlling
narcissistic one? At least the NBA is back on
TV for him. Jesus.
The proposal went
incredibly, the summer was spent focusing on wedding
plans and spending time with Talya's mother during an
incredibly difficult time. It sure was nice to focus
on the wedding. Talya started her own blog as she
noticed herself going from a "Doormat" to a "Doorway"
(getting walked on by abusive people or choosing to
allow someone in or out of your house). Her change in
demeanor this year was absolutely breathtaking. Every
single one of her friends and family saw it. So proud
of her. She and her mother for that matter seemed to
really stand up for themselves. Cut off from the
bullies. Make your own choices. Choose peace. Choose
smiles. Life is so goddamn easy if we want it to be.
It will have hard times, but there's no need to add
people to your life that add drama. That
manipulate you and tell you where to go, what to do,
how to feel, who to love. The moment you cut them out?
It's almost like a drug. You can't believe the freedom
to be happy that you have when you take away the
people that tell you how broken you are. What an
incredible year.
Got a new tenant
in the guesthouse, took a trip to Vegas to hang out
with my first wife and her beau and generally just
enjoyed every single second. Heh, every time
I talk about Jess or Burg I think about the drama
queen telling me that it's all a smoke screen. That
these really were tattered relationships with women I
left in the dust. Seems ironic that those women are
better friends to Talya than she was. Perspective is
incredible. What an incredibly fortunate man I
am.
Career-wise I had
a mini-viral hit with "You're a Mean One, Newt
Gingrich" that garnered 65,000 new viewers and
hopefully a pathway to more exposure in this new year.
65k is nice, but when you were on TV in front of 3
million each week for a year... you just really,
really want to find your way back to that. Hopefully
that video is a start. And right before the wedding I
connected with Gary Helsinger's new company and a
seemingly unending stream of work with at this
production company. I just can't wait to start the new
year!
And of course the
wedding. Let's pick up where we left
off...
Now do you see why
I couldn't bring myself to try and top that for a
yearend video? Clearly that's it. That is exactly what
2011 was. A love story all year. What a beautiful
ride. Picture time...
Since "formal
picture" time was set for 2-4:30 and he never showed,
everyone got kinda screwed. After doing a couple with
just our parents I looked at the time and realized we
just had to get everybody into one big picture and I'd
do some photoshopping later.
The rest of the
night, there's just a ton of pictures and I couldn't
possibly post them all here. I uploaded 200 to
Facebook the following day so feel free to peruse
those if you'd like. Here I'm just gonna post a few
standouts.
Waiting to get
announced for our first dance... and onto one of my
favorite pictures of the night:
Man you can't fake
that kind of joy. I was mentioning to Talya earlier
that part of what was so emotional about editing the
ceremony and making these entries was that I was
watching this guy I had been following for 12 years.
That's still how it feels editing all of this
together. It's just a character that looks kinda like
me after awhile. I'm putting together a picture book
and my heart really pulls for him that he'll make it
and be happy. It's almost a completely separate
feeling than my own personal feelings. Watching the
videos and seeing the picture? It turns into Journey
Adam. So from outside of myself as a viewer? Look at
that pic. Whew. Just so happy for those
people.
You may recognize
this from the video when explaining to the crowd why
we chose a Wednesday. I think what I love most about
how I come off during this day is that every
frame is happy/funny/sweet. I'm having the time of my
life and I'm feeding off the love and support of
everyone around us. It really was the greatest night
of my life.
There are just too
many pictures. I'm trying to use ones I didn't
use in the video, but even then there's too many. LOL.
I just want to show everything to everyone! I want to
share every moment so badly. I. AM SO.
HAPPY.
Several of you
have to be wondering how my family felt about
everything considering my past. It's one thing for a
new group of people to be happy for you... but after
what my family saw me go through - were they in the
"here we go again" camp?
<smile> They
all felt how different this was. It's not that they
weren't supportive of my past relationships before,
but they could certainly sense the stress from the new
family. It's remarkable how much support means to a
relationship. In fact, that kind of brings this entire
year around full circle.
I kind of
mentioned it in #1199. Those moments that seem so
horrible? They actually change your life for the
better. Had the Mayflower Drama Queen not hurt us as
bad as she did? We wouldn't have been so sensitive to
how people felt about us. What started as obvious
(that we were a great couple) was tested and SLAMMED.
And now, when people say things like "you are the
sweetest couple..." it means the world to us. A
picture like the one above of everyone so genuinely
happy for us? Brings me and Talya to tears. We are so
much more appreciative of love and support because
someone came in and hurled insult after insult on us
and tried to convince us that we were some sort of
sham. Clearly the person is unhappy with their own
life, but when anyone does that to you so strongly? It
does effect you. But the real lesson here is? You
should let it. Because when you really process
those feelings? You're better able to appreciate the
truly wonderful things in your life. It's pretty
beautiful how life works when you allow yourself to
feel.
There are a
ton more pictures, but as I said - that's
what Facebook is for. Thank you 2011 for renewing my
faith in EVERYTHING. It will be my goal the
rest of my life to live each year like 2011. And to
those skimming through my journal, I really hope you
felt all the wonderful emotions we felt during this
year. You may be going through a tough time right now
but try not to sell that short. It's just another
chapter in your book. So keep reading.
