I would be so
fucking sick of reading me if this was 2010. This is
what I'd say:
"Hey, future
Adam, WE GET IT. You are happy with your
relationship. You guys are a great couple. However
if you keep fucking telling us we're gonna start
thinking you secretly hate each other and are both
gay trying to pretend you're in a happy
relationship. 'Cause this shit can't be real.
Enough."
And I assume
many of you are thinking that, so I figured let's
just get that out of the way. Alright, out of the way?
'Cause I have to document this day.
Talya hates her
BMW. It's 10 years old, it's about a
MILLION times gawdier than her and she
desperately wants to sell it. As well it has just
passed 90,000 miles and even though it's in impeccable
condition (seriously, this mofo was so well cared for
it actually hurts my head a little), it has hit the
"danger zone" for all cars. You're gonna be
putting some money into it and if you don't love the
car it REALLY makes that fact annoying. Whereas I'm
happy to put money into my 1999 Camry (mostly because
you hardly ever HAVE TO), she doesn't want to
keep this so any dime is uber-annoying...
...so the
alternator going out on the winding downhill stretch
of Topanga Canyon should be cause for some serious
annoyance. Being on your way to a wedding you're
already a little late to and then having to walk over
a mile to get there on a road with no shoulder should
also be a moment for stress, anger... all of
that.
Except it just
never is with us. It was an adventure. I think we
actually said "Yay! An adventure!". Because every
single day that we get to spend doing something we
haven't done before is a happy moment to us. Granted,
it is the "honeymoon" period for us, and soon
routines will take over, but this is quite
different. I mean, watch the video. Does this seem
normal for the scenario I described?
This is (and will
be even after the $500 bill we're sure to have
tomorrow) a happy memory. The video really stood out
to me because I was able to capture what I've
been trying to describe for so many months. The world
outside of us can be swirling with negativity. Bad,
stress, anger, disappointment, sadness... but we're
cool. Just floating downstream. It's such an
incredible foundation to take on the rest of the world
with. It's why I still believe something is gonna
happen in the industry even without me killing myself
to make it happen anymore.
I read a blog that
asked why people thought happiness was a constant
state when all other emotions are temporary. I felt
bad for the author because it was clear they equated
happiness with the emotion of "glee" or "joy" as
opposed to a state of being that honestly never
does go away when you're a self-aware person.
It's not the fake "positivity" that people try to
brainwash themselves into believing they have, it's
knowing yourself so well that you're centered. You
have the appropriate weight attributed to the things
you can and cannot control and you actually have the
wisdom to know the difference. When you can do that?
Happiness is always in your hands. You can be down
about your career, have fulxuating moods, etc... but
at your core? You're happy. All the outside drama
becomes a spicy chapter in your life. A lesson Talya
and I learned early on when two of her friends
went goddamn nuclear on us while we were trying to
deal with very real, serious family issues. They
tainted my proposal, tainted our "glee", but our
happiness? Nothing on the outside can truly destroy
your happiness. Those two "friends" not only
showed us how strong we were, they showed Talya just
how strong she had become. They put a light on how she
used to be when she was in an abusive relationship
with someone that constantly made her feel "less
than". Now that she feels equal? She is a bright light
that burned a friggin' hole in people in her life that
liked her a lot better when she was submissive to
them. The more aware Talya became, the more toxic they
appeared. An amazing transition...
...that brings us
to another one of life's headaches becoming an
amusement park for us. I had never seen this part of
Topanga Canyon by foot. Usually speeding past
everything focusing on the beach ahead. Great
adventure, and a chapter in "The Journey" that
never would've happened if not for that damned car
we're both so annoyed with.
Bottom line is,
you don't have to read a book to find happiness - you
just have to know yourself and surround yourself with
others who know your demons and accept you anyway. As
I say in the movie, "flaunt your flaws" - 'cause
nothing is more you than your mistakes and when you
flaunt your weaknesses you don't have to live up to
some ideal that you wanted to convey. You
simply have to relax and float downstream and the
right people (for you) will come along. Then suddenly
everyday will be an Advenutreland for you
too.
