You would be wise
to think that in my ultimate procrastination of the
Sundance edit I built a deck...but it's not
entirely true. They both kinda coincided.
I knew my deadline was Thursday morning to get
the blu-ray in the mail, and I had the wood
delivered that morning when I would be done (credit
card points = Lowe's gift cards
bitches!)...
...however I
wasn't finished with the edit and was actually happy
to walk away from the edit and do something completely
different. There's so many copyright issues to cover
with the documentary, Sundance is a
SUPER longshot and I haven't done my
research on the hundreds of other film festivals so
I can pinpoint ones where my film actually fits
the theme. And truthfully? And this is where the
emotional side comes in, I just don't want to do
something else that I know will be rejected. Just
once, I'd like to complete a project that will be
appreciated, enjoyed, not passed on, not ignored, not
rejected - so I built a deck. I killed myself to
finish it in a couple days (working like 13 straight
hours each day) and of course made a quick little
video of the process...
BTW - that song is
2 versions of a Palaur song, "Everyday". Realized
I had never posted it within The Journey, and it
seemed cool for this. No hidden meaning... except I do
indeed work at everything the way I worked at that
deck. Hardcore, no breaks, kick ass until you fall
over - every day. So nothing about this project seemed
overkill to me. It seemed like video editing with a
physical product instead of a visual product at the
end. Some strange anecdotes about the
build:
-2x4s get
really wonky at 16 feet. And since I ordered
delivery, I couldn't sit and pick out every
piece, I was stuck with what I got. And
several pieces (like that last one) were so warped
I'm amazed I could even put it
together.
-Which might
have something to do with buying the cheapest wood.
I believe it was "Fir". Super deal at $5 a piece.
In 2004, an 8 foot 2 x 4 was $3.21, so double that
for $1.89 more in 2011 is awesome. And the truth
is, if you can power through the warped issues, and
you re-inforce the frame good (every 16 inches,
don't skimp) you're past the big issues with cheap
wood especially in an area that never rains. Throw
some stain on that mofo and suddenly, your wood
looks all classy...
Magic.
-I went against
Murphy and got exactly how many pieces
I needed (70) as opposed to the more cautios
10% overage because I had no way to transport the
unused pieces back to Lowe's. 16 feet is really,
really long. Incredibly though? It worked out. Only
about 5 pieces were completely FUBAR'd and
I was able to inevitably get them screwed
in.
-So now all
decks are supposed to be screwed together? 20 years
ago nails were more common apparently? My stepdad
built our deck with nails... which come to think of
it had to be redone in several areas with wood
screws because nails get loose over time.
I actually bought the nails, googled a bit
more and ended up taking them back for
MUCH more expensive wood screws. Hopefully
that is meaningfull in 20 years.
-Oh and in case
you were wondering how big of a job this was? 57
boards, 26 screws a piece for a grand total of 1482
screws. I added in 10 more to certain areas
simply as a nod to C-Bus 'cause my hometown rules.
;) That's a LOT of screws. I have zero
feeling in my left palm from holding down that
driver.
-Talya did one
screw by herself to which she said "oh, fuck this."
and I did the remaining 1,491. LOL. It's not
the easiest thing to do, but it's a lot easier than
nails in the long run. And far less screw-ups. Just
unbelieveable soreness 'cause I did it
non-stop for two days.
-All drill bits
aren't created equal. I destroyed like 5 drill
bits on the first half of the deck, and it was
talking forever until Talya finally ran out and got
some heavy duty ones. The dickhole at Lowe's said
"Uhm, clearly it's user-error" (which Talya relayed
on the phone) and I just said "get the hardest bits
you can." She did, and 1 drill bit did the entire
rest of the job twice as fast. Fuck you Lowe's
dick. When screwing 3 inch screws completely
through wood, you can't use the bits that come
standard in your set. You need the heavy duty
ones.
-Leveling the
deck was the entirety of Thursday afternoon/evening
when the wood was delivered because our backyard is
slanted so bad. Digging, digging, digging. Finally
got it right, and supported the ever lovin' hell
out of that thing all along the way. Kinda easy to
do when it's just on the ground, but that badboy
ain't movin'.
-I got the
idea for this last year when I hung out with
Burgundie and Aaron and saw their deck. Same thing
with a black steel pergola (which we also have) on
top that has this nice japanese feeling. For us
it's just a good use of space because the backyard
is worthless for grass. No rain + dogs + broken
sprinklers? Fahgeddabout it. Far more functional.
Up next I'm taking out the entire cement garden up
against the guesthouse (which we never wanted to
begin with) and putting together the Pergola (have
to wait because a piece of the steel was bent in
shipping - bastards).
-First project
like this I have done since the guesthouse
build in 2004 and it was nice to not have the
heaviness of "the divorce house" hanging over me.
Back then, I was building the guesthouse to
move into since Jess was leaving. Now of course,
I'm happily looking forward to a wedding, this is a
deck for us to enjoy... it was just overall a
pleasant experience.
And, so, there you
go. Happy homelife, homeowner stuff. It's amazing to
me how many people out there hire out help for things
like tiling a floor or making a deck, etc. When you do
things yourself (granted, you do have to have some
McGuyver type skill to attempt a lot of the crazy shit
I do) you bond yourself with the home. I actually
feel like I have a relationship with every inch of
this place. I know I will probably not live here
my entire life, but it will crush me to sell it
completely. And I don't intend to. When
I move on, this will most definitely be a rental
(hell, even now I could rent it and make a
profit). But that bond will always be there. There's
100 more issues to deal with, as there have been the
entire part of the decade I've owned it, but they get
addressed a little here, and a little there... and it
absolutely makes this house a home. It's why
I could never walk away from the mortgage no
matter how upside down it is. I mean, don't
people realize they're only upside down if they sell?
Anyway, it will be
time now to re-address this edit for future festivals
that I actually have a bit more of a shot to make
it into. Not trying to be defeatist, but I understand
there's a niche for this film, and it doesn't
start at Sundance. There's a few it will get
into. No doubt.
