9:41 AM, Thursday, September 15th, 2011:
Other artists get this feeling, but I always want to try and express it to others... and I just don't know if I'll ever be able to. To explain to people who aren't artistic what it feels like to spend a day letting down your walls and letting your spirit just kind of create on its' own. Ending up with this:
It's my perfect day. Man, I really want to describe this in a new way... I've kind of said it before, but I'll expound and see if I hit something new:
Journey videos are tiny paintings that I hang on a virtual hallway as I keep on walking. The fact that they're public hallways makes all the difference because I can't run from what I put up. I don't take down the paintings and I don't fix the mistakes. The mistakes are the art. Art is emoting. Audiences hating Andy Kaufman was art. For me it's a feeling, a thought, ideas, melodies - all of that - but it feels like an actual chunk of my being incapable of being containted. If I don't share it? Destroys my ability to be peaceful and happy. YES. That is what I'm trying to get across. Art is the key to my happiness. People can piss on it, tell me I'm no good, tell me it's only art if they like it... makes no difference to me. I create because I have to and it keeps me sane...
...conversely, I see so many artists with writer's blocks, anxiety disorders, being the opposite of peaceful and it's so difficult to watch, because their cure? IS IN THEM. I desperately want to tell them to simply SHARE their art. Stop worrying so goddamn much if it's perfect (it never is) and share it. Stop worrying if people will accept it, if it will lead you to a big break, if it will be a, b, c, d or e... and just let it GO. Create it because it's within you, and you live in a fantastic time where you can produce it and share it in an instant. Therein lies your healing. Therein lies your ability to float through massive failures and heartbreaks and still whistle while you work a day washing dishes. You are a conduit, you have the ability to emote - so stop trying to overthink it and just do what you do. There will be time for the "scheming" part of the business later, but if you constantly obsess on that... you're a lot closer to con-artist, than artist.
I say allllllllll of this, because I am so grateful I have the tools and skills to produce my art at lightening speed... by myself. Is it masturbation? Of course it is. Ironically I was singing this melody on the toilet, grabbed my iPad and Garage Band app and knocked it out in minutes. Then spent the next day actually working out the song structure/lyrics and doing the video. It just makes me so freaking happy. If not for this website? Wow. I would absolutely not still be standing in LA. This outlet will fuel my entire life. I absolutely picture myself at 80 making the little entry bars and editing together video clips to tell more stories. Remarkable to think that other artists spent time chastising me for how much I produce, telling me I should think about what it's adding to the world before just releasing everything that comes to mind.
To quote the song, I'll tell you what, those people need to lighten, the fuck, up. We're not that important. If I was still on CBS and was producing that 6-7 minute bit to air to 3 million people a week? Yeah, I would create a bit differently. But why do that to yourself when you're decidedly NOT on national telvision? There was ZERO freedom there. I had to go through censors. I had to cut every goddamn funny line and find a way to stick shit in they didn't catch week after week (actually that was a fucking BLAST). Heh, who am I kidding, I tend to find enjoyment in everything 'cause I'm generally happy to be alive and I'm not embarrassed by my talents. I feel fortunate. Thus, I share.
So can I talk about the iPad and how life changing it is? I did the organ part on the SHITTER. I did the bass line in the kitchen. On purpose? No that's just where I happened to be as I was working it out. The sounds are extremely authentic (if you keep it simple) and I'm not sure there's a better songwriting tool available. It is not a replacement for a recording studio - it is a tool to write your ideas as you get them. This exact refurbished iPad on apple.com is $349 right now. The app is $4.99. This is changing the world. Every single person who says they can't find a need for one (which was me before I got it) needs to spend a week with it. It is THE tool for the 21st Century.
And the song is kinda of an inside thingee between me and Talya and brings her song total to 5. :-) Hoping to get to 9 or 10 by the end of the year and have her album up on iTunes in time for the wedding. What a fantastically fun year 2011 has been.
PS - And yes, the film festival edit procrastination is going swimmingly. Thanks for asking.