3:49 PM, Saturday, June 25th, 2011
That was so absolutely wonderful. Is this the most precious reaction ever?
Her calling her mom is just about the sweetest moment I've ever seen. How precious to have that forever. Our kids get to see that! Wow. I curse The Journey sometimes, but without it - that video wouldn't exist. I cried more watching it than I did when it happened!
So now that I can unlock the entry from May, you'll see that my original plan was to have CD101 play the song and surprise her as it played. Ironically, modern technology made this all but impossible. Seriously, go grab your Walkman with an FM tuner. <shakes head>. CD101 is no longer streaming online and that pretty much left being in a car or at the station. After a couple of visits to the new station it was clear it wasn't the right place. As I said in the random last entry, it's incredible how they're rebounding from Andyman's death and were able to move to a new building in record time, but it is no longer the home I knew.
So I uploaded it to my site and checked to see if I could stream it from her phone and I could. I figured we'd take a walk in the woods because earlier in the week we barely went into a ravine before we had to leave and I said we'd make a fun adventure video later.
Of course the hardest part? How the hell do you film it? You can't hold the camera, it's way too obvious. I had to have a way to set-up the camera in a static shot, act goofy "we're in the woods!" and then nonchalantly whip out her headphones and grab her phone.
Somehow? It worked. She said felt like a complete idiot for not knowing what was going on, but in her defense? I do weird shit like this all the goddamn time. She had no idea until the line "I just have one tiny question for you..." and that long pause. When she laughed during the pause, she knew.
...and then FINALLY I could tell her everything! The song has been written for over a month, I've had the ring for over a month and I've been accidentally singing the song in front of her for WEEKS. I'd be at the fridge and start in with "Would you like to spend your life..." until I'd wince, cover my mouth and immediately start singing something else. Oh fuck me if I ever write a catchy song I have to keep secret again. That was excruciating.
And the ring is so freaking pretty that I would randomly look at it when I wasn't home. Platinum is so shiny! And thank GOD for the platinum over gold trend, because I'm just not a fan of gold jewelry.
The thing I didn't like, and if I had it to do over I would've done differently, was telling anyone. I only told my parents and maybe 1 or 2 friends, but I think it made Talya feel kinda stupid because people knew for so long. Honestly, I just hate lying. Even for a good cause. Her mother (who helped me find a good jeweler) called us a couple of weeks ago after a few drinks and said "well when you come back Fromm Columbus and are engaged..." and Talya goes "ha, you can't tell my mother anything." I had to look Talya in the eye and completely lie to her face. "I said July, I swear to you I have nothing planned in Columbus, I told you I wanted to wait until after that trip."
The truth is, we've known we were getting married for months now and I told her to not expect a proposal until after she had met my family. I just wanted her to get at least one meeting with my friends and family without a ring. to say they're an exhausted bunch when it comes to my love life, is to say the least. However, they all knew right away that Talya was special. The woman got a good two months of entries about how wonderful she was and they could hear it in my voice on the phone. They never heard that about Donna for more than a few days and hell, I met Jess during the Lewinsky scandal. Needless to say, they love her and have gotten to spend a lot of time together. I've never known such overwhelming support from both sides of the family. It's a blessing I cherish more than anyone can know.
But as I was saying, it sucked to have to look her in the eye and lie, but I had one split second to save her mother's faux pas and thankfully I did. Good, God, Damn, Karen. I'm never telling you another secret as long as I live. LMAO. Love you.
Such unbridled happiness right now and honestly the entirety of this year. And then tomorrow I premiere my documentary. Wow. What a difference a year makes, huh?
And to my partner in crime? To have this level of ease with someone after the wars I've been through is not only special, I've honestly never heard of it. Most people after my level of heartbreak are so jaded we can never trust again. We are a fit of unbelievable proportions and the reason is simple: you are finally true to yourself in every aspect of your life. You're with someone who supports your thoughts and feelings, encourages you to express them and loves you because you do. You never have to worry about "fucking things up", because I fell in love with the YOU. Not the shy, insecure woman I met over 8 months ago. You trusted me when I said I wanted to hear your deepest thoughts, biggest fears and most embarrassing flaws and you shafted them... and found a deeper connection than you ever knew possible. There's a reason living with each other since early December has been so effortless - we float, we don't paddle. There's no tension or fear of ripping apart the raft when you don't try to force things.
Think of the future we have in front of us...
I adore you.