That was so
absolutely wonderful. Is this the most precious
reaction ever?
Her calling her
mom is just about the sweetest moment I've ever seen.
How precious to have that forever. Our kids get to see
that! Wow. I curse The Journey sometimes, but without
it - that video wouldn't exist. I cried more watching
it than I did when it happened!
So now that I can
unlock the entry from May, you'll see that my original
plan was to have CD101 play the song and surprise her
as it played. Ironically, modern technology made this
all but impossible. Seriously, go grab your Walkman
with an FM tuner. <shakes head>. CD101 is no
longer streaming online and that pretty much left
being in a car or at the station. After a couple of
visits to the new station it was clear it wasn't the
right place. As I said in the random last entry, it's
incredible how they're rebounding from Andyman's death
and were able to move to a new building in record
time, but it is no longer the home I knew.
So I uploaded it
to my site and checked to see if I could stream it
from her phone and I could. I figured we'd take a walk
in the woods because earlier in the week we barely
went into a ravine before we had to leave and I said
we'd make a fun adventure video later.
Of course the
hardest part? How the hell do you film it? You can't
hold the camera, it's way too obvious. I had to have a
way to set-up the camera in a static shot, act goofy
"we're in the woods!" and then nonchalantly whip out
her headphones and grab her phone.
Somehow? It
worked. She said felt like a complete idiot for not
knowing what was going on, but in her defense? I do
weird shit like this all the goddamn time. She had no
idea until the line "I just have one tiny question for
you..." and that long pause. When she laughed during
the pause, she knew.
...and then
FINALLY I could tell her everything! The song has been
written for over a month, I've had the ring for over a
month and I've been accidentally singing the song in
front of her for WEEKS. I'd be at the fridge and start
in with "Would you like to spend your life..." until
I'd wince, cover my mouth and immediately start
singing something else. Oh fuck me if I ever write a
catchy song I have to keep secret again. That was
excruciating.
And the ring is so
freaking pretty that I would randomly look at it when
I wasn't home. Platinum is so shiny! And thank GOD for
the platinum over gold trend, because I'm just not a
fan of gold jewelry.
The thing I didn't
like, and if I had it to do over I would've done
differently, was telling anyone. I only told my
parents and maybe 1 or 2 friends, but I think it made
Talya feel kinda stupid because people knew for so
long. Honestly, I just hate lying. Even for a good
cause. Her mother (who helped me find a good jeweler)
called us a couple of weeks ago after a few drinks and
said "well when you come back Fromm Columbus and are
engaged..." and Talya goes "ha, you can't tell my
mother anything." I had to look Talya in the eye and
completely lie to her face. "I said July, I swear to
you I have nothing planned in Columbus, I told you I
wanted to wait until after that trip."
The truth is,
we've known we were getting married for months now and
I told her to not expect a proposal until after she
had met my family. I just wanted her to get at least
one meeting with my friends and family without a ring.
to say they're an exhausted bunch when it comes to my
love life, is to say the least. However, they all knew
right away that Talya was special. The woman got a
good two months of entries about how wonderful she was
and they could hear it in my voice on the phone. They
never heard that about Donna for more than a few days
and hell, I met Jess during the Lewinsky scandal.
Needless to say, they love her and have gotten to
spend a lot of time together. I've never known such
overwhelming support from both sides of the family.
It's a blessing I cherish more than anyone can
know.
But as I was
saying, it sucked to have to look her in the eye and
lie, but I had one split second to save her mother's
faux pas and thankfully I did. Good, God, Damn, Karen.
I'm never telling you another secret as long as I
live. LMAO. Love you.
Such unbridled
happiness right now and honestly the entirety of this
year. And then tomorrow I premiere my documentary.
Wow. What a difference a year makes, huh?
And to my partner
in crime? To have this level of ease with someone
after the wars I've been through is not only special,
I've honestly never heard of it. Most people after my
level of heartbreak are so jaded we can never trust
again. We are a fit of unbelievable proportions and
the reason is simple: you are finally true to yourself
in every aspect of your life. You're with someone who
supports your thoughts and feelings, encourages you to
express them and loves you because you do. You never
have to worry about "fucking things up", because I
fell in love with the YOU. Not the shy, insecure woman
I met over 8 months ago. You trusted me when I said I
wanted to hear your deepest thoughts, biggest fears
and most embarrassing flaws and you shafted them...
and found a deeper connection than you ever knew
possible. There's a reason living with each other
since early December has been so effortless - we
float, we don't paddle. There's no tension or fear of
ripping apart the raft when you don't try to force
things.
