When you look back
on The Journey as a whole, it's mostly a big story
about relationships. Personal or professional makes
little difference, I tend to analyze them the same on
the site, but the key is - I analyze them. In
fact, it's all I do. There is no more important
thing in life to me than communication. The lack of it
drives me crazy, and that has been proven consistently
since day one. I'm also the first one to amplify
whenever I've been misunderstood because I take
that as a mistake on my part. Seriously, it's the most
valuable truth I learned in a college
communications class many years ago: "The message
received is the only one that counts". Meaning, if
someone took what you said wrong? Look inward and
figure out how to communicate with them better. Now,
that isn't 100% possible because it requires some
sanity on the other end, but if you always
assume it was your miscommunication? You'll get to the
bottom of it really quick.
It was in that
vein that I wrote the companion piece to the song
a couple entries back. I was criticized heavily
and my first instinct was to come back into this site
and talk about it. I want to get to the bottom of
it as quickly as possible and I won't hide the "egg of
criticism" for fear of looking bad. "Getting to the
bottom of it" is far more important than looking good
or bad. I knew that video was dancing on the line of
making me look like an ass. However in defending the
criticism, I unleashed a waterfall of information
(in the form of even more anger from the criticizer)
which finally explained everything. The criticism had
little to do with the video and everything to do with
select moments from the past that finally spewed out.
Of course it
brought to light another truth about communication
that has to be a given: the other person has to
actually communicate. If they receive a message from
you and take it as bad... but never express that?
They're kinda screwed. If they collect several of
these and still never express it? They're so far away
from good communication they're bordering on complete
dysfunction. If when they finally do express their
feelings, they mask them withinin criticism of
something completely unrelated? They're
creating drama. They never intended to
communicate in the first place.
Now I bring ALL of
this up for one reason... I believe it's
pristine. I believe that there is a bit of
magic in online communication that cannot be found
anywhere else. An almost untouchable form of
unfiltered communication that... the only word
I can think of is pristine. There are so many
barriers to communication, oddly, in person. The way a
person looks, their body language - while they are
clues, they are "instant gratification" clues
that may have nothing to do with what the person truly
feels. As well, you can mishear things and get caught
up in all those extra senses, that simply can't happen
online. Be it a thread, email, instant message... you
have the ability to take people at their word and have
an incredible dialogue. Now throw in a public forum
like Facebook and knowing other people can read it? It
holds you accountable. It also lacks tone, so you have
to actually... communicate.
It is, as I've
said, the basis of this site. Granted other than a few
cases it's 100% my view, but I try desperately to
include the original IMs or threads (in this case, I
believe even with complete anonymity the person
involved would lose her shit if I posted it - but it's
still on Facebook - go look, I have an open page)
or in this case criticism of what I've done. If
I were to hide the criticism of what
I write? I would be masking the
truth. My intent of that original song was to
absolutely communicate a feeling and do so publically.
I was called out on it and I responded to that. I
have to respond to that. If my message was poor? If it
was out of bounds? I want everyone to tell me
that. It's the only way you grow as a communicator in
my mind.
I will of course,
hide identities or refrain from talking about
particulars because it simply isn't fair. The point is
to be accountable for your actions not to defame
someone. If you're going to call someone out? You had
better have good reason, because it will bite you in
the ass. You had better be open to the criticism,
you'd better defend it and you'd better "Come strong,
or not at all" to use a sports analogy. Which is why
initially I really enjoyed the criticism of my
video. Since I never used his identity, I never
used any particulars, and since what lead to me
recording that song was overwhelming? I was ready
for what came at me. Of course I expected it from
HIM, but I'll take whatever comes. Again, turns
out it wasn't actually a critique of that song/entry,
rather a slew of other miscommunications so the entire
dance is broken from the beginning. You can only
connect and communicate with people that want to do
the same. If they don't talk? They're creating your
entire persona and basically arguing with
themselves.
I guess there
was a reason I majored in communications in
college. And I guess I did well enough that
I was hired full-time in professional talk radio
by the end of my Freshman year. I adore it. And
honestly? An internet thread is exactly what talk
radio was. An open conversation that everyone listened
to. An instant judge and jury where you had to think
on your feet and choose your words carefully. It's
verbal jousting. And online? You have a transcript
that is even more cut and dry because you see
exactly how your words are going to be cemented into
the conversation before you hit send.
Pristine.
Far be it from me
to interfere with pristine communication. I knew
that song wasn't the greatest idea... but it was my
truth, and for the rest of my life it will be parked
at Entry #1136. And nothin' is more pristine than
songwriting. Hmmm...
You know it's
tempting to act like writing is some magical thing
that comes from outside of you. Talent certainly does,
well not outside of you, but you're certainly born
with it. But songwriting? As you can see in the
writing of "Float Downstream" it's oftentimes a
"stream of consciousness" where you just play and
mouth words and sounds that feel right. You
could confuse that with, I guess, the
HAND OF GOD speaking through your fingers
and vocal chords... but in reality you're just hitting
a part of your brain that stores melodies you've
heard, chords you remember, and sounds that are
pleasing to you. You do it often enough? You get good
at keying into that and hopefully you write a new
melody. A whole bunch of people are good at that, and
a select few can translate it into songs that hit a
large group of people. Really is just a numbers game.
I'm just another number...
