A friend saw that picture and
replied: "Weird.". I laughed. That it is. The final
piece of weirdness left in our story. And yes,
everyone else said they saw the "want" in my eyes...
and though I do want kids, it's really just joy. I am
so happy for Jess and Jeff I can't contain it. If you
ever get to this level in a relationship, it's the
most liberating feeling on the planet. Gone are
expectations, gone are the labels... all that is left
is love. Zoe represents love on so many levels, it'll
be decades before she can understand it. So,
everyone's gotta be wonderin', was it surreal?
Well...
...a teeeeeny bit. And I do mean
teeny. A couple times I saw "Jess" holding her baby
and it occurred to me we had both thought of that
visual for years. But then I just smiled and teared
up. She achieved her dream! This all worked! And I get
to be there to share it. Perfect, perfect,
perfect.
Now, poetically, in trying to
avoid a dramatic scene with the family, I was able to
sit with Jess and Jeff alone while I was there.
So thankful for that. In so many respects this is
something only the three of us will understand. And
Jeff? Jesus, the man needs his own paragraph
here...
I'm sure Jeff's friends are like,
"huh?" when it comes to me and the truth is, it seemed
like it was important for all of us to share this
moment. It was actually important to Jeff that his
wife's ex had time to see the baby. <shakes
head> He was apologetic that it wasn't longer, he
happily recorded everything and even made goofy
comments about "what could have been" while shooting
me, Jess and Zoe. He's amazingly mellow and secure and
I am so lucky that he was in this role, because
as this week has proven? It's a rarer trait than I
once believed. This isn't surprising to me, as I've
known him for 4 years now, but when you step back?
It's pretty incredible. One last story to show how
awesome he is before Jess starts getting jealous of
US:
Jeff and I are playing video
games last year and Jess was grabbing food to make
after work and was running late. Jeff finally calls
her and leaves a message: "Honey, your husbands
are hungry and a little concerned. Call me."
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Love it. Thank you for just being
awesome brother. You have made everything so
comfortable. I am eternally grateful.
And to Jess? Seeeeeeeeee? It
happened! The scenario I knew was possible in Columbus
played out perfectly. Her family did go with
her to all the ultrasounds and doctor visits. It was
everything she hoped for, and what I knew in my heart
that she not only wanted, but needed. Seeing her hold
her baby... man, I am just smitten with the whole
story...
...and, yes, holding Zoe I wanted
a baby. I absolutely cried and I absolutely know that
I want to experience that roller coaster before my
story is over. I don't have a JOB however, so I will
keep my sperm to myself for the time being. <shakes
head> Oh come on, I couldn't be sappy the
entire entry. Zoe will appreciate that in time. ;-)
Cue the video...
Wow, didn't cry until the footage.
Whew. Very hard to see video of us and not think of
the other videos on this site. But that's why you end
it with who is truly the man of the hour, Jeff. This
was so perfect I can't believe it!
THANK YOU BURGUNDIE for helping me with
that ticket so I could have this moment. It is
absolutely precious to me. So much love.
Wow.
