"To everyone that runs
from their past... you're not that
fast."
I always used to be the first to
say "for me..." after every grand assertion about
life. I only know what's best for me. I cannot tell
you what's best for you. I always considered that
judgmental and arrogant....
...I'm starting to wonder about
that.
The fact of the matter is? My
experience has shown me red flags in certain
situations so fast, numbering so many... that ignoring
them so I could keep an open mind? Borders on
psychotic. In all honesty? If you have the experience
to back it up? Judge like a Supreme Court Justice. You
know how you look at old peeps and consider them
close-minded? No they've just actually lived and don't
want to hear your naive ramblings about the
world.
Now, I'm not completely there yet.
I still want to hear your shit, but I'm gonna
call you on it. And something tells me, in time I'll
stop doin' that as well. 'Cause I'm to the point where
I have so much experience that I can't
unsee. And the patterns have never been wrong.
It's like hearing the wrong note in a song... hearing
it 15 times isn't gonna make it right. It's wrong. It
needs to be pointed out. Someone recently had a big
issue with that saying they "don't have baggage" since
they left it behind. Try to not disagree with THAT. I
can't...
We all have baggage. Acting like
it's not yours or you're not carrying it? Is a little
humorous to someone like me who not only admits to it,
but explores every section of it (publically) to see
what goodies are inside. There's nothin' more valuable
to me than my failures. Nothing. They are insights
into your soul, they are keys to your success, they
are uniquely yours and no one can take them from you.
As long as you continue to jump? They are nothing but
positives...
...the problem is? It seems
a lot easier to forget them, cover them up, and then
move on. Maybe for the DAY that's easier, but as I
said to everyone that runs from their past... you're
not that fast. You can't beat it, you have to deal
with it. And I am always shocked how many people
live like this. Bury their past, avoid negative
thoughts, and reach for all things happy. And simply
put? I judge you if that is your process. It's
something I can no longer respond to with my
favorite line: "Whatever Gets You Through The Night".
Because you are not only hurting yourself, you're
hurting those around you. You're basically showing
everyone a projection of what you wish you were as
opposed to who you are. That lack of
self-awareness is painful to people who trust you or
put their faith in you.
However, I know better - and
my best friend, experience, does cartwheels when I'm
in trouble. Sends up flares, waves his hands, massive
red flags that I have to SWIM through to avoid.
He is also spotlighted about 8 times a month on a
MASSIVE website with over a thousand videos so I
WON'T FORGET... so to my friend, I give you
this:
Awwwwwww snap. Ha. Understand that
it takes A LOT now to elicit that look at
the end. That person had to pick me up, throw me down,
pick me up and throw me down again in a pretty
remarkable way to get that eyebrow raise. And
I have experience to thank for that as well.
Because the other stories have been told? Subtlety
works.
And as I mentioned in the
last entry - this all sprouts from an incredibly
tumultuous week where everything was given and pulled
from me, repeatedly, and truth be told is still going
on. But then a funny thing happened. That guy who
tried desperately to maintain friendships with
everyone? Even those that hurt him? He's missing.
I believe he was hit with a drunken slam about a
loved one and then buried in the backyard with fleas
and worms. He's gone. I'm not gettin' him. Bridge,
burned. Experience +1.
Hope you liked your song
man.
Adam
Experience, I think you're
my best friend,
You see what's comin' around
the bend,
You know the patterns like
you should,
You turn the past into
somethin good...
You flag me down when I
lose my way,
You always got somethin
to say,
And at times I wish you'd
just let me be,
But you're in
me...
Experience you're not
good or bad,
You're not happy you're
not angry or sad,
You're the truth whether
I like it or not,
And
with...
Experience, I dont repeat
mistakes,
But that only ups the
stakes,
That I'll find a brand new
way,
To fall on my ass
today...
But fallin' means I still
took the leap,
It means I haven't fallen
asleep,
And where there's
consciousness there'll always be
light,
