Well thank you cloudy day in LA,
you allowed me to write this entry explaining the
madness that was supposed to occur today, but is now
delayed until you clear up. Left everyone with a bit
of a cliffhanger... err, a bit of a skydiver, and then
didn't have time to finish the entry about it. What a
bad chronic chronicler I am. That would've been a
really shitty way to end The Journey. An aside to
jumping out of a plane with a nice "sorry mom" and
then blankness. Gotta be more responsible than that.
:-)
Of course I'm still friggin' doing
it but at least now I can tell you WHY I'm doing
it:
Uhm, 'cause I can't say no to a
great Journey video. Ever.
It's like I said in the Channel
Islands video? You offer me an adventure? It's like a
pavloving response. A couple months back Paddy and JT
asked if I wanted to get up really early and go
down to Long Beach to see the Red Bull Flugtag where
people run crafts off a cliff and crash into the
water. I wanted desperately to say no, work on shit or
just sleep... but then I think about what that
Journey video might be and goddamnit, I have to
say yes. And we get this:
And for the rest of my life,
October 2010 will be colored with that moment. Hard to
say no to, right? I sleep in? That doesn't exist.
And seriously? I don't WANT to jump out of a
perfectly good fucking plane... but I sure want to
read about it in the future. I sure want to look at
the video while skimmin' through my life later. I
guess that's what pushes anyone to do crazy stuff, but
it's a little more intense for me because my life at
this point feels like a video game and I want to
see the next level. Oooh, a skydiving level? Let's go!
It's a product of having all these little videos of my
memories. I REALLY like the cool videos... so
I want to make more...
...but the actual dude doin' this
shit? He's more than a little freaked out. Like,
imagine talking to Super Mario. Imagine that when you
turn off that game, he goes to his house, sits down,
grabs a beer and goes "wheeeeeeeew". You're his buddy,
you come in to hang and ask how his day
was:
"Does anyone ever think I might
not want to FLY over the lava pit? 'Oh look at
the little plumber screaming and grabbing his ass!
Ha! How cute!' Well it's NOT cute. It fucking
hurts. And I'm-a-done with this shit."
I actually feel like this
sometimes. There were moments in Africa last year
where I literally stepped out of my brain and
thought: "WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU DOING?". Clearly the adventure side of me is
stronger, but again, with this site? I do things
I would NEVER normally do, to get the good video.
I say it almost sheepishly when approached.
'Cause I already know that no matter what
I actually feel about the "offer"? I might
as well just agree to it right then, 'cause
I won't be able to sleep thinking I'm missing an
opportunity for a great video. So when an old friend
from the loan business said he was workin' through his
bucket list and couldn't find anyone to jump out of a
plane with him? Duh.
Of course we'll both be jumping
seperately with a trained professional, and truth be
told? I'm not actually that freaked out by it.
I assume your chances of dying are better driving
the 405. I am fairly certain however, this won't be a
"thrill seeking" pattern for me. I don't
have the money, and honestly? Have other things to
accomplish. It was simply offered, and I won't
turn that down. Thank you Nathan, it's gonna be very
cool.
Pink elephant, pink elephant...
ugh my body just kinda knows when I'm leaving out a
bunch of shit and I think at some point I'm gonna
need to find a way to deal with what happened to me
last week a little better than I did two entries
ago. The effect it has had on my core is profound.
Even for a guy who has seen ten people's shares of
gaining and losing everything in record time, the past
week shook me up. To the point where getting the good
news of a callback? Made me breakdown in tears because
I had finally accepted that everything was gone,
and was OK with it... and suddenly it's all back.
Being a puppet on a string is par for the course in
this industry, but when the manipulation defies all
logic? Your brain starts to short-circuit. In fact,
I think it already has, and now the
run-of-the-mill insanity that is this city can't even
be processed now. I need support quickly, or I'm
not gonna be running anymore.
