Entry #1083
9:23 AM, October 9th 2010:
Oh this game is gonna get ugly. 14-0 with 6:35 to go in the 1st? Whew. Sorry for the tangent, it's my birthday, I'm editing a video, making an entry and watching the Buckeyes. Pretty freaking perfect for so far. In fact, let me share it with ya...
The symoblism doesn't get more obvious than that. And as is everything with my life, it's instantly public and zero room to hide. Frightening? No. Simple accountability that I adore. And many of you are freaked the hell out by it. Man has Facebook opened people's eyes to the public life I've been part of for 11 years. Except you guys are still all pussies about it. Ha.
So apparently, your relationship status on that site is serious shit. Whether you actually say single, or don't have it up at all, if you are in a relationship or ACTUALLY LINK TO THEM! AHHHHH. Since my entire life is IN STONE? Forever? Facebook is a friggin' pre-school toy to me. Like, taking "single" off is more cautious. That shows a little more restraint. Actually saying you're in a relationship?!?! WOAH WOAH WOAH.
People, you're all lying. If you're not bangin anyone else, you're in a relationship. You just are. Now I could understand not making it public if things are going really BAD, but barring that - all these little "status games" are really stupid to someone like me who can NEVER take back an entry. And even those are put up with very little fear of looking silly later. If I avoided the egg on my face, this site would be boring as shit. So UNclicking that relationship status 2 weeks later? Heh. Sounds about right.
Hey, I hoped. What did I say in Entry #1079? LET ME BE RIGHT! And if I'm wrong, let me be OK with being wrong. And a funny thing happened on my way to figuring it out... I gained a friend, a manager and a renewed faith in my ability to communicate. I am ecstatic today. I am on top of the world. 'Cause for the past couple weeks my "on the same page" radar has been wonky as fuck. I mentioned it in #1082 by saying I was trying to float while she was paddling. I can't stay in that situation long without saying something. Most people hardly even notice it, it beats me in the head when someone I'm with isn't on the same page. The hours and hours and hours I've spent talking trying to explain the page I'm on... well, I'm sure that doesn't take much convincing to you reading this considering this is number ONE THOUSAND EIGHTY FOUR... ha. Anyway, it finally broke through - and we're on the same page... and it's perfect. Why???????????
Because I wholeheartedly believe that everyone on the planet has a place somewhere with everyone else. You just have to communicate enough to find out what that is. The whole reason, season, lifetime thing. Once you accept that? You let go of the outcome. You just communicate and see what comes of it. By being exclusive, you are certainly hoping for something... but you simply don't control the outcome at the beginning of a relationship. You're just comparing parts and seeing what fits. <----Ha. I am the king of unintentional sexual innuendos. "Palmolive" and I did, and we know where we fit. In record time to boot. I love that shit. I love the hell out of that shit. Considering the YEARS I've spent trying to define that with others? I'll take 2 weeks.
That being said? How cool is "Palmolive"? I'm still just as enamored. I still love hangin' out with her. I love how passionate she is about the industry. I love that I got to meet her parents and now have several mothers reading The Journey and wincing at how many times I write "fuck".
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'm so sorry, it's how I talk. The only time I think about it is when I'm on the air. Otherwise, as you saw in the video, it just kinda comes out. And the folks at CD101 really did say "wake the fuck up!" this morning at 6:59am. And I do miss them. They are family. I'm concentrating on finding that type of family out here now. I certainly found a new dawn in that capacity a couple weeks ago.
A great day. :)