Entry #1082
3:38 PM, September 30th 2010:
So many loose ends in this whirlwind of a month that it's RANDOMS TIME!!!! Yay.
1) John Bob Cougar Mellencamp likes my hair
I believe my dear friend Valerie Schick deserves the credit for this one. :)
So I'm doing another tape sync for Tavis Smiley (where I record the audio on location for an interview with Tavis in-studio on the phone) and this time the subject is? John Cougar... uhm Mellencamp. Fuck, I'm sorry man - I can't remember if the Cougar is even around anymore. Grrrr. Just checked - it is indeed just John Mellencamp. Branding brother. Branding. You're killing me. ANYWAY... it was kinda cool hanging out with him during the interview, because - he's just an old redneck from where I grew up. You know? I felt like I was at a VFW in Ohio. Felt very "home". Afterwards though, we got to talking - and he asked me what I put in my hair. It was a uniquely strange moment, because I'll be honest? It's never happened to me... ever. No man has ever asked me what I put in my hair. Oooh Ooooh super flashback - I had a professor in college that did his hair "Mad Men" like... Mr. Weisphenning - and I did indeed ask him what type of motor oil he pit on his noggin' 'cause it defied all sorts of gravity.
Freaking tangents Adam.
I told him that it was this American Crew product called Fiber (that Valerie gave me). It's cool because your hair still looks dry, but you can do whatever you want with it. Doesn't look gelled and crunchy. John said he still uses Pomade from the 50s, but he was quite impressed with my hair. How, freaking, random is THAT? LMAO. I got a guitar pick. And I saw Ed Norton in the lobby of his hotel. Interesting day. Oh, and yes - I got another infamous foot shot:
I think it's kinda cool that I have all these random celebrity foot shots 'cause I'm recording the audio on a camcorder, and I always point it down to be respectful. Like, when do you ever really look at a man's shoes, Mr. DuFresne?
Word. Cool dude.
2) A Crossroads Moment
About a month ago, I interveiwed to be an insurance salesman with AAA. Dana Ochoa, a friend who came to my Comedy Central Pilot last fall worked there and helped set up an interview. It was cute, she was horrified that it had even come to this point considering last year she thought I was about to conquer the world... but she was happy to help. After a quick interview I took one of what would be several tests, with interviews that spanned 4-5 weeks of time with a bunch of people.
I was about halfway into the test when I realized that I was in a tough situation. The entire point of this test was to show your honesty. They end up asking you the same stuff multiple times and see if your answers line-up. That part was simple. However in one section, after the 20th question in a row about insurance I really had a scruples moment. The questions were roughly:  "Have you ever sold life insurance? Do you know anyone who presently sells life insurance? How many friends do you have that you can sell life insurance to now? Do you have life insurance? Do you want life insurance?" Seriously, it went through 3 pages like this. I'm swimming along with "No, No, of course not, are you fucking crazy" types of responses (it was multiple choice, I didn't actually write 'are you fucking crazy'). It occured to me though, that I may need to fudge a few of these answers to keep going. You know? Like, I painted the worst possible candidate to ever hire. I showed zero interest in the entire field (fucking DUH), but the truth is? I have 2 mortgages. Teach me the product, I will sell the product. As long as you're not taking advantage of people... I'm there. So I had a moment where I stopped and made the choice. Do I go all out to get this job? Or do I just go 100% honest. I mean, AAA has been in business for over 100 years... if they believe in their tests and I honestly answer this shit and I'm not qualified, that says something. So I went all out honest and they shook my hand and thanked me for my time. LOL. I called Dana later and she was confused because she knew people with ZERO insurance experience that got through that test - but I'm telling you... there's no way you can answer negatively to 25+ answers in a row without it triggering some algorithm in the program to have THAT fucker walk out the door. Now, the crossroads in all this? Had I got it? It was 4 months of training out of town.
So erase the last 2 weeks from The Journey. Whew.
3) Bonita Brisker as Billie Holiday
Take a peak...
Met Bonita while at an airport in DC for the Inauguration, and we've been friends ever since. Have done video work for her and she has referred me to a bunch of peeps. She's an incredible performer and does a one-woman show where she plays herself and Billie Holiday. Kinda takes you back in time and you feel like you're simply at a jazz club watching her sing and tell stories. It's a cool night. I shot a little video for her on Saturday and wanted to post an unedited minute as the finished product will probably be with all the bells and whistles of an EPK. Blue lights and jazz. Funny how they go together, huh? Talk about performers, sadness and drugs. Whew. Oh and on that note...
4) Par for the course
I knew my last video would garner negative reaction from people that don't know me or understand the project. Considering the video was partly self-centered, I can see where people would consider it exploitive of Greg's name. I can't do this project and worry about that. If I did? There'd be no project. His death hit home for me because of my own demons, and I shared that. Period. It's just what I do. That's what I'm documenting.
Of course the "someone get this no talent hack a shotgun? so he can off himself already!" type comments are par for the course with the internet. And though you reading it may see me as oversensitive to these comments, I'm really not. I see that comment? And I'm happy for the +1 in views, I shit you not. It has zero effect on me personally. Especially a "no-talent" take. Heh. I mean, call me an underachiever because of what I haven't accomplished considering all my talents and you're on the right track to stinging me a bit. ;) For future refernce, I'll just hand that one to my enemies.
What I did get a kick out of though, was all the "fag" and "homo" comments on the youtube thread. That shit only happens when I'm clean-shaven man. I look so much softer without that beard. Especially in a video where I'm emotional... I have to admit, I see the same thing. There's an energy of femininity that is unmistakeable. It works though. I mean, if you're not a prick - you actually see a vulnerable personality that you feel for. It emotes really well. Glad I can play that... but I really want my goatee back. Ha.
5) Floooooooooooooating without the Paddles
Oh I'm trying to balance this people. So trying. "Palmolive" wants to paddle this motherfucker to the moon and I am trying desperately to enjoy the SLOW side of things. It's a pretty awesome dynamic though. Again, our lives together are so wrapped up in business my brain feels a bit split. I get it professionally - let's GO GO GO! Personally, not after my storms. I need to float a bit at every stage. I can jump into exclusivity no problem - kinda nice to not balance the single life in my head... but after that - I'm like a beaten dog that needs some alone time every now and then to process it. There is a bit of sadness to that, but it's also a touch of maturity. To be able to say "woahhhhhhhhh - isn't the view here nice? I'm sure it's gonna kick ass around the bend, but I wanna take this in..." I've been this gunshy with everyone since Donna and it is pretty hard for people to understand. I know ***** is a little annoyed that suddenly I'm public with this relationship, when I wasn't with her. The situations were drastically different, we lived together and things were really bad. The last thing I wanted to do was throw up an egg that I was 99% sure was gonna crash on my face. Then she lost her job... and whew - what a year for both of us. That being said... I think we will still have a nice relationship in time. She sent CeBe an OSU collar earlier this month... in fact, that should be its own random. :)
How pimp is that look? I know it's 'cause the sun was bright, but she is straight up GLARING at the camera. Step off man. I'm gonna eat your nuts. This from the most adorably loving pupper ever. I think she was just annoyed at me for making her sit when she wanted to runaround. Heh.
Anyway, I do feel for ***** because of how "hidden" she felt. As I've said before though, it just got so bad so quick... there was no time for the grand announcement. It felt doomed in the U-Haul moving IN. Since she's been back in Ohio, it seems what transpired has been semi-re-written, and I can't really do anything about that. The truth is in the entries from June - and honestly? Re-writing is a good defense mechanism for people. I mean, it's not gonna help you grow... but it may help you get through a tough time until you're ready to grow. So if it helps making one person "the bad guy", whatever gets you through the night. Just don't expect someone who IS self-aware, to agree with you. The collar however, is precious. I do also believe that in a future scenario I'm gonna have some insight that will help her and I hope we keep in touch because of that.
7) The 2010 Race Card
A story just broke about LeBron and his "people" saying that they felt race was to blame for his negative backlash.
Are you fucking serious.
No wait, I'll play to my Libra strengths and try to argue this. I believe the point they're trying to make is that the way he told his decision was new... and his people feel it will be the norm and that LeBron will be seen as a revolutionary figure because of it. And oftentimes black athletes do audacious things that are scorned at first... but later become accepted in white/mainstream society. They probably slammed the first black dudes to do dances in the endzone in an overtly racist manner, but now it's commonplace.
Ahem. How'd I do? Because LeBron? The only thing you revolutionized was how to fuck up your brand overnight. You revolutionized being the biggest asshole in the world in an hour-long special. And you revolutionized being a little bitch by following a dude who already has a ring, as opposed to being a LEADER. Your team had the best record in the NBA the last 2 years and you couldn't get it done... so you joined forces with a real champion to try and get one... at TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE. Don't get me started on this shit again, I wrote about this in the last set of randoms. And in fact, this race thing just saddens me. 'Cause it's the people he surrounds himself with that are so unbelievably out of touch that they still don't understand why "The Decision" was the biggest debacle a sports star has ever made. You don't hold an hour-long "LOOK AT ME" special when you're going to be shitting on your home town. Period. It would have still come off as audacious and arrogant had he STAYED... but it would've been a little easier to swallow. Then the fact that he raised money for the kids would get more play, etc. But he didn't. He held everyone captive to shit on his hometown. Worst decision ever. And as I showed in the paragraph above, I do "get it". I see where they're trying to go with this and in that sense, I see how moments like this can show some of the ugly racism that still persists in our country. But again, he didn't revolutionize a fucking thing. I just don't see a future where athletes continue to do this. The entire sporting world sees this as a MASSIVE mistake and now you're gonna bring race into it?
And mannnnnnnnnnnnn how much are Kobe's publicists LOVIN' this shit. Wow. How quickly the tide turns...
8) You always get what you deserve in the end.
Obama is a badass. Shut it. To all the democrats lamenting the fact that he has only accomplished a little more than half of his campaign promises in, what, 18 months in office? Open a fucking history book and realize what you have in front of you. Christ. You deserve exactly what you're gonna get in November. No long rant, you wouldn't hear me anyway.
9) October is gonna be awesome
Longtime readers/viewers know that I am not the constant positive thinker. I look at things like a computer. If you're computer has a virus, thinking really hard that it's gonna be ok - BELIEVING that it's gonna better the next time you turn it on... will alas, make you hate computers. You have to dig in, solve the problem - and actions change the outcome. So when I say October is going to be awesome? It's because of all the little bits of foundation that have been lined up that play to my strengths. To know that I simply have to keep on bein' me, and I will get exactly what I need in the coming weeks is refreshing to say the least. But after the new headshots I took yesterday (entry tomorrow), you can't help but see how things will fall into place. That and of course the meeting with Laura today. Whew.
10) Passing tests and then rewriting them
I don't mean them to be tests, but you find yourself in the midst of these moments where you realize, "Palmolive" isn't fuckin around. She talks a big game, and backs it up at every turn. Watching her and Laura talk together at lunch today was surreal. "Palmolive" does indeed know everyone, and their shared experiences in where they've bumped into each other is head-spinning. And I have to say it again, especially to anyone starting out in this industry. You wanna know if representation is any good? As as many industry insiders as you can about them. If they haven't heard of them or have anything negative to say? Move on, you're wasting your time. If your representation can't pick up the phone and talk on a personal level with casting directors and industry folks they've known for years? They will not be successful. Sure they can put your headshot in a cattle call and hope you get picked, then blame you when you don't... or they can believe in you, make calls on your behalf, and get shit done. And sweet, holy, mary-mother-of-GoD, jesus if your representation UPSETS multiple people in the industry? Run. Don't feel bad. Don't try to hear them out. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who was right or wrong if your representation ruins something for you. The whole POINT of representation is that they KNOW how to DEAL with that! You can't blame the fucking NETWORKS, they own the game. Find a way to play it, and you become a great manager/agent. Constantly rubbing people the wrong way in the industry will destroy your clients. No amount of talent in the world matters when people shudder to think of dealing with the management. And, I knew that... what I did not know was how true something said to me 8 years ago in response to my issues with "Charlotte". "If you have the right management, they can make one phone call and get you in. It's all about connections." In my mind at the time, I didn't doubt that, but I wasn't going to short-change "Charlotte" because she wasn't at that level. I thought we'd grow together. To fellow artists out there? Care only about their friends and contacts. Ask them straight up:  "What are your favorite Casting Directors that you work with? Are you friends or friendly?" That's all that matters. Watching Laura and "Palmolive" talk to each other was probably the first time I ever felt like I was on the inside of this industry. Incredible isn't it? After all the time I was on network TV? After the amount of things I've been through? I was an outsider trying to play their game with zero direction. This feels like a completely different world. It's insane. "Palmolive" is rewriting the checklist by the day. Crazy.
Alright - ten will do, gotta get goin'. Goin' to the Comedy Store of all places to see a comic "Palmolive" knows. Yes, the scene of the 2001 crime. <shakes head>
Strongest I've ever felt.