So many loose ends in this
whirlwind of a month that it's
RANDOMS TIME!!!! Yay.
1) John Bob Cougar
Mellencamp likes my hair
I believe my
dear friend Valerie Schick deserves the credit for
this one. :)
So I'm doing
another tape sync for Tavis Smiley (where
I record the audio on location for an interview
with Tavis in-studio on the phone) and this time the
subject is? John Cougar... uhm Mellencamp. Fuck, I'm
sorry man - I can't remember if the Cougar is
even around anymore. Grrrr. Just checked - it is
indeed just John Mellencamp. Branding brother.
Branding. You're killing me. ANYWAY... it was kinda
cool hanging out with him during the interview,
because - he's just an old redneck from where
I grew up. You know? I felt like I was at a
VFW in Ohio. Felt very "home". Afterwards though, we
got to talking - and he asked me what I put in my
hair. It was a uniquely strange moment, because I'll
be honest? It's never happened to me... ever. No man
has ever asked me what I put in my hair. Oooh
Ooooh super flashback - I had a professor in
college that did his hair "Mad Men" like... Mr.
Weisphenning - and I did indeed ask him what type
of motor oil he pit on his noggin' 'cause it defied
all sorts of gravity.
Freaking tangents
Adam.
I told him that it
was this American Crew product called Fiber (that
Valerie gave me). It's cool because your hair still
looks dry, but you can do whatever you want with it.
Doesn't look gelled and crunchy. John said he still
uses Pomade from the 50s, but he was quite impressed
with my hair. How, freaking, random is THAT? LMAO.
I got a guitar pick. And I saw Ed Norton in
the lobby of his hotel. Interesting day. Oh, and yes -
I got another infamous foot shot:
I think it's kinda
cool that I have all these random celebrity foot
shots 'cause I'm recording the audio on a camcorder,
and I always point it down to be respectful.
Like, when do you ever really look at a man's shoes,
Mr. DuFresne?
Word. Cool dude.
2) A Crossroads
Moment
About a month ago,
I interveiwed to be an insurance salesman with AAA.
Dana Ochoa, a friend who came to my Comedy Central
Pilot last fall worked there and helped set up an
interview. It was cute, she was horrified that it had
even come to this point considering last year she
thought I was about to conquer the world... but
she was happy to help. After a quick interview
I took one of what would be several tests, with
interviews that spanned 4-5 weeks of time with a bunch
of people.
I was about
halfway into the test when I realized that I was
in a tough situation. The entire point of this test
was to show your honesty. They end up asking you the
same stuff multiple times and see if your answers
line-up. That part was simple. However in one section,
after the 20th question in a row about insurance I
really had a scruples moment. The questions were
roughly: "Have you ever sold life insurance? Do
you know anyone who presently sells life insurance?
How many friends do you have that you can sell life
insurance to now? Do you have life insurance? Do you
want life insurance?" Seriously, it went through 3
pages like this. I'm swimming along with "No, No, of
course not, are you fucking crazy" types of responses
(it was multiple choice, I didn't actually write
'are you fucking crazy'). It occured to me though,
that I may need to fudge a few of these answers to
keep going. You know? Like, I painted the worst
possible candidate to ever hire. I showed zero
interest in the entire field (fucking DUH), but the
truth is? I have 2 mortgages. Teach me the
product, I will sell the product. As long as you're
not taking advantage of people... I'm there. So I had
a moment where I stopped and made the choice. Do
I go all out to get this job? Or do I just go
100% honest. I mean, AAA has been in
business for over 100 years... if they believe in
their tests and I honestly answer this shit and I'm
not qualified, that says something. So I went all
out honest and they shook my hand and thanked me for
my time. LOL. I called Dana later and she was
confused because she knew people with ZERO insurance
experience that got through that test - but I'm
telling you... there's no way you can answer
negatively to 25+ answers in a row without it
triggering some algorithm in the program to have
THAT fucker walk out the door. Now, the
crossroads in all this? Had I got it? It was 4
months of training out of town.
So erase the last
2 weeks from The Journey. Whew.
3) Bonita Brisker
as Billie Holiday
Take a
peak...
Met Bonita while
at an airport in DC for the Inauguration, and we've
been friends ever since. Have done video work for her
and she has referred me to a bunch of peeps. She's an
incredible performer and does a one-woman show where
she plays herself and Billie Holiday. Kinda takes you
back in time and you feel like you're simply at a jazz
club watching her sing and tell stories. It's a cool
night. I shot a little video for her on Saturday and
wanted to post an unedited minute as the finished
product will probably be with all the bells and
whistles of an EPK. Blue lights and jazz. Funny how
they go together, huh? Talk about performers, sadness
and drugs. Whew. Oh and on that note...
4) Par for the
course
I knew my
last video would garner negative reaction from people
that don't know me or understand the project.
Considering the video was partly self-centered,
I can see where people would consider it
exploitive of Greg's name. I can't do this project and
worry about that. If I did? There'd be no
project. His death hit home for me because of my own
demons, and I shared that. Period. It's just what I
do. That's what I'm documenting.
Of course the
"someone get this no talent hack a shotgun? so he can
off himself already!" type comments are par for the
course with the internet. And though you reading it
may see me as oversensitive to these comments, I'm
really not. I see that comment? And I'm happy for the
+1 in views, I shit you not. It has zero effect
on me personally. Especially a "no-talent" take. Heh.
I mean, call me an underachiever because of what
I haven't accomplished considering all my talents and
you're on the right track to stinging me a bit. ;) For
future refernce, I'll just hand that one to my
enemies.
What I did get a
kick out of though, was all the "fag" and "homo"
comments on the youtube thread. That shit only happens
when I'm clean-shaven man. I look so much softer
without that beard. Especially in a video where I'm
emotional... I have to admit, I see the same
thing. There's an energy of femininity that is
unmistakeable. It works though. I mean, if you're
not a prick - you actually see a vulnerable
personality that you feel for. It emotes really well.
Glad I can play that... but I really want my
goatee back. Ha.
5)
Floooooooooooooating without the Paddles
Oh I'm trying to
balance this people. So trying. "Palmolive" wants to
paddle this motherfucker to the moon and I am trying
desperately to enjoy the SLOW side of things. It's a
pretty awesome dynamic though. Again, our lives
together are so wrapped up in business my brain feels
a bit split. I get it professionally - let's GO
GO GO! Personally, not after my storms. I need to
float a bit at every stage. I can jump into
exclusivity no problem - kinda nice to not balance the
single life in my head... but after that - I'm like a
beaten dog that needs some alone time every now and
then to process it. There is a bit of sadness to that,
but it's also a touch of maturity. To be able to say
"woahhhhhhhhh - isn't the view here nice? I'm sure
it's gonna kick ass around the bend, but I wanna take
this in..." I've been this gunshy with everyone since
Donna and it is pretty hard for people to understand.
I know ***** is a little annoyed that suddenly I'm
public with this relationship, when I wasn't with her.
The situations were drastically different, we lived
together and things were really bad. The last thing
I wanted to do was throw up an egg that
I was 99% sure was gonna crash on my face. Then
she lost her job... and whew - what a year for both of
us. That being said... I think we will still have a
nice relationship in time. She sent CeBe an OSU collar
earlier this month... in fact, that should be its own
random. :)
6) STEP OFF
BITCHES. We are THE BUCKEYES
How pimp is that
look? I know it's 'cause the sun was bright, but
she is straight up GLARING at the camera. Step
off man. I'm gonna eat your nuts. This from the most
adorably loving pupper ever. I think she was just
annoyed at me for making her sit when she wanted to
runaround. Heh.
Anyway, I do feel
for ***** because of how "hidden" she felt. As
I've said before though, it just got so bad so
quick... there was no time for the grand announcement.
It felt doomed in the U-Haul moving IN. Since she's
been back in Ohio, it seems what transpired has been
semi-re-written, and I can't really do anything
about that. The truth is in the entries from June -
and honestly? Re-writing is a good defense mechanism
for people. I mean, it's not gonna help you grow...
but it may help you get through a tough time until
you're ready to grow. So if it helps making one person
"the bad guy", whatever gets you through the night.
Just don't expect someone who IS self-aware, to agree
with you. The collar however, is precious. I do also
believe that in a future scenario I'm gonna have some
insight that will help her and I hope we keep in
touch because of that.
7) The 2010 Race
Card
A story just broke
about LeBron and his "people" saying that they felt
race was to blame for his negative
backlash.
Are you fucking
serious.
No wait, I'll play
to my Libra strengths and try to argue this.
I believe the point they're trying to make is
that the way he told his decision was new... and his
people feel it will be the norm and that LeBron will
be seen as a revolutionary figure because of it. And
oftentimes black athletes do audacious things that are
scorned at first... but later become accepted in
white/mainstream society. They probably slammed the
first black dudes to do dances in the endzone in an
overtly racist manner, but now it's
commonplace.
Ahem. How'd
I do? Because LeBron? The only thing you
revolutionized was how to fuck up your brand
overnight. You revolutionized being the biggest
asshole in the world in an hour-long special. And you
revolutionized being a little bitch by following a
dude who already has a ring, as opposed to being a
LEADER. Your team had the best record in the
NBA the last 2 years and you couldn't get it
done... so you joined forces with a real champion to
try and get one... at TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE. Don't get
me started on this shit again, I wrote about this in
the last set of randoms. And in fact, this race thing
just saddens me. 'Cause it's the people he surrounds
himself with that are so unbelievably out of touch
that they still don't understand why "The
Decision" was the biggest debacle a sports star
has ever made. You don't hold an hour-long
"LOOK AT ME" special when you're going
to be shitting on your home town. Period. It would
have still come off as audacious and arrogant had he
STAYED... but it would've been a little easier to
swallow. Then the fact that he raised money for the
kids would get more play, etc. But he didn't. He held
everyone captive to shit on his hometown. Worst
decision ever. And as I showed in the paragraph
above, I do "get it". I see where they're trying to go
with this and in that sense, I see how moments
like this can show some of the ugly racism that still
persists in our country. But again, he didn't
revolutionize a fucking thing. I just don't see a
future where athletes continue to do this. The entire
sporting world sees this as a MASSIVE mistake and
now you're gonna bring race into it?
And
mannnnnnnnnnnnn how much are Kobe's publicists LOVIN'
this shit. Wow. How quickly the tide
turns...
8) You always get
what you deserve in the end.
Obama is a badass.
Shut it. To all the democrats lamenting the fact that
he has only accomplished a little more than half of
his campaign promises in, what, 18 months in office?
Open a fucking history book and realize what you have
in front of you. Christ. You deserve exactly what
you're gonna get in November. No long rant, you
wouldn't hear me anyway.
9) October is
gonna be awesome
Longtime
readers/viewers know that I am not the constant
positive thinker. I look at things like a
computer. If you're computer has a virus, thinking
really hard that it's gonna be ok -
BELIEVING that it's gonna better the next time
you turn it on... will alas, make you hate computers.
You have to dig in, solve the problem - and actions
change the outcome. So when I say October is
going to be awesome? It's because of all the little
bits of foundation that have been lined up that play
to my strengths. To know that I simply have to keep on
bein' me, and I will get exactly what I need
in the coming weeks is refreshing to say the least.
But after the new headshots I took yesterday
(entry tomorrow), you can't help but see how things
will fall into place. That and of course the meeting
with Laura today. Whew.
10) Passing tests
and then rewriting them
I don't mean them
to be tests, but you find yourself in the midst of
these moments where you realize, "Palmolive" isn't
fuckin around. She talks a big game, and backs it up
at every turn. Watching her and Laura talk together at
lunch today was surreal. "Palmolive" does indeed know
everyone, and their shared experiences in where
they've bumped into each other is head-spinning. And
I have to say it again, especially to anyone
starting out in this industry. You wanna know if
representation is any good? As as many industry
insiders as you can about them. If they haven't heard
of them or have anything negative to say? Move on,
you're wasting your time. If your representation can't
pick up the phone and talk on a personal level with
casting directors and industry folks they've known for
years? They will not be successful. Sure they can put
your headshot in a cattle call and hope you get
picked, then blame you when you don't... or they can
believe in you, make calls on your behalf, and get
shit done. And sweet, holy, mary-mother-of-GoD, jesus
if your representation UPSETS multiple people in the
industry? Run. Don't feel bad. Don't try to hear them
out. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who was
right or wrong if your representation ruins something
for you. The whole POINT of representation is
that they KNOW how to DEAL with that! You can't
blame the fucking NETWORKS, they own the game. Find a
way to play it, and you become a great manager/agent.
Constantly rubbing people the wrong way in the
industry will destroy your clients. No amount of
talent in the world matters when people shudder to
think of dealing with the management. And, I knew
that... what I did not know was how true
something said to me 8 years ago in response to my
issues with "Charlotte". "If you have the right
management, they can make one phone call and get you
in. It's all about connections." In my mind at the
time, I didn't doubt that, but I wasn't going to
short-change "Charlotte" because she wasn't at that
level. I thought we'd grow together. To fellow
artists out there? Care only about their friends and
contacts. Ask them straight up: "What are your
favorite Casting Directors that you work with? Are you
friends or friendly?" That's all that matters.
Watching Laura and "Palmolive" talk to each other was
probably the first time I ever felt like
I was on the inside of this industry. Incredible
isn't it? After all the time I was on network TV?
After the amount of things I've been through?
I was an outsider trying to play their game with
zero direction. This feels like a completely different
world. It's insane. "Palmolive" is rewriting the
checklist by the day. Crazy.
Alright - ten will
do, gotta get goin'. Goin' to the Comedy Store of all
places to see a comic "Palmolive" knows. Yes, the
scene of the 2001 crime. <shakes head>
