So many people. So many lives
touched. I thought my first feeling when being part of
all this was the hope that I could someday touch so
many people's lives... but the truth is? I just
don't want to die young. I want to weave an amazing
story that is decades and decades long. There's
nothing cool and romantic about dying young. I know we
will end up rationalizing Andyman's passing with his
"big heart" or even my title that he was "Bigger Than
Life"... but honestly? This just really really sucks.
I've been thinking of Andyman
nonstop since I got here, but a funny thing happened
when we finally got to the remembrance. The moment it
started... I started to withdraw and process. I was
backstage watching the crowd and I just felt like it
was their time to grieve. Their time. My time
was the day before, at the station... especially when
Molly came in and just knocked me over. Once the video
played... I stopped shooting. I stopped
working. I just stopped. Took it all in. I put a
video together for me to remember for the
night. I was fortunate enough to hear Andyman's final
day's airchecks and decided to put his last break into
this video with shots of the remembrance. I don't mean
it to be haunting or freaky... they're just important
moments because they are his last. The fact that out
of the blue he decides to tell the audience he loves
them is completely bittersweet - but it's Andy. It's
nice that although he was simply saying goodbye for
ten days, he was able to say goodbye.
Well I guess that is kinda
spooky. Hmmm. I don't want to be offensive... I
may wait to upload this one, but I really think his
last aircheck is special and should be remembered as
such. I know it's hard to hear his voice, but
it's also rather healing. I'm glad Moose got a shot of
me signing his canvas. I sure do love that logo. Oh
and the Family Guy thing! Didn't even mention
that!!
So my friend Greg who is a
Director at The Family Guy (and a longtime
Journey
Player from 2001) shocked
the ever-loving shit out of me yesterday. The night
before (the emotional night I wrote about in the last
entry) I called him up and asked for a favor. I have
never asked him to do anything like this, but Molly
mentioned she and Andy loved Family Guy and I thought
if he could draw a caricature of Andyman as a Family
Guy character, Molly would just love that. I called
him at like 12:30 AM and when I woke up yesterday, I
checked my email on my iPad - and within 10 seconds
started crying. Look at what he did:
I mean, are you fucking kidding
me. Here's what he had to work with:
I mean, he got the point and
everything. I knew everyone was gonna freak when
they saw this and it would mean the world to Molly. So
around noon I uploaded it to Facebook and
somehow... at the remembrance just hours later -
IT WAS ON T-SHIRTS. I guess one of my
facebook friends downloaded it and as you saw in the
video, silk-screened it onto white shirts. I was
floored. It had my Andyman logo on the front, and the
Family Guy thing on the back. Wow. Wow.
Wow.
I was proud of what I had put
together in such a short time and so glad that I made
an impact. I remember looking at the hotwire.com
screen as I impulsively bought the ticket thinking:
"Will I be in the way? Will I be able to help?".
Seeing that shirt, and the canvas everyone was
signing... showed me I did. Christi and I came
together and played "CD101" for the day doing
whatever was necessary to make things run a little
smoother... and they most certainly ran
smoother.
The viewing is in a few hours and
I need to get ready. This is gonna be
tough.
