Road trips need
randoms, and now that this one is over, seems an
appropriate time. Although...
1) The Curse of 2010
...the best laid plans, right?
This entire trip was supposed to be a series of
randoms going across the country. Why I have these
sweeping romantic ideals while still in the midst of
2010 is beyond me. Plan nothing Adam... just survive.
Apparently even with the crushing defeat of Comedy
Central last year, The Journey Gods felt that 'round
the world trip was a little too good. So we'll find
ever-inventive ways to pull out the rug in 2010. Wait,
what rug? That bitch went away in 2007. It's a life of
trap-doors now. :)
2) The Finally-ending
Story
Leave it to my life to still find
compassion and bittersweetness with this chapter. For
clues to how bad things got, the entries that are
unlocked are already pretty bad...so that usually
means the locked stuff is ridiculous. Nearly all of
that disappeared as I helped her move back into her
mother's house. In your 30s, after making $70,000+ the
previous year, being across the country on your own?
This is a massively emotional moment. And one thing we
certainly shared was that we both had gotten OUT of
Columbus. I love the city, but once you're out?
There's that sense of relief and pride knowing you're
not going back. I felt every ounce of pain as the
culture shock kicked in and all we could do was make a
stiff drink and get to the morning. Earlier in the day
I wanted to rip out her toenails and suddenly I was in
her shoes and heartbroken. Nothing is ever black and
white.
3) Well, maybe this
is...
Take a look at this video (may
need headphones to hear the screeching
tires):
Now the reason this is black and
white? Every turn atop this 14,000 foot portion of the
Rockies (Loveland Pass to be more exact) has a 200
foot drop without guard rails. So what you're seeing
in my eyes after I heard a screech and several
crunches of a car rolling down a hill is pure
disorientation. I couldn't actually see anything, but
what I heard was pretty distinct. But then there's
this quiet that makes you doubt everything you just
heard. Then you remember how far the drops are and all
you can say is "Yeah, that's not good...".
Unbelievably though, this dude went off the road at
the one corner that was only a 15-20 foot drop, so he
only rolled his car once or twice, and walked out of
it. Black and white is that this moo may be the
luckiest man I've ever met. And maybe the stupidest.
His tire marks showed that he had slammed on his
breaks forEVER which meant he was BARRELING down a
mountain. A guy from the department of transportation
showed up and was talking to him and I overheard:
"Yeah, I've been having trouble with my brakes..."
Then the DOT guy looking at the longest set of black
tire marks you'll ever see says: "Well it looks like
they worked there." LOL. I mean, I'm sure the guy was
embarrassed but at this point you might as well just
let the pride go. "Yeah, I was going way too fucking
fast around the corner..." is perfectly
acceptable.
4) Young Adam Kontras
I'll have to thank her later, but
15 years after Jane London bestowed the moniker of
Young Adam Kontras on me when we were both on WTVN,
she probably helped me avoid immaturity simply by
making me forget my escape plans I had for Denver. I
heard her voice on a Denver morning show and was
suddenly fixated on all that went on in my radio days.
Before I knew it we were out of the city and the
feasibility of catching a plane back to Los Angeles
vanished. Thankfully the ride after our trip to see
*****'s friends in Colorado was substantially better
and I would have regretted such a dramatic end to
things no matter how justified it seemed. And as I
mentioned in the last entry, although it can harm me,
the constant focus on "the happiest ending" oftentimes
does work. In this case, it did. And I have to
link you to the interview
she and John Lane did when I released my first CD.
It's a time-warp for sure and man, have 14 years ever
aged the hell out of me.
5) Rocky Mountain
Beauty
I could see myself aging in the
northwest though. Good freaking lord is it beautiful.
I mean, like all things - you eventually grow tired of
it. I know when I tell people that sunshine everyday
gets to be a bit much and I pray for it to rain in LA
- they roll their eyes; but it's true. However after
one hike - I want a couple months of my life, every
year of my life, to be spent there. I think Phil
Jackson does that. He spends all summer in the
northwest. If I have any caviar dreams, that would
probably be it. The ability to spend periods of time
elsewhere. So inspiring being outside of a comfort
zone. Like what I did last June in different
countries. It's incredible how it affects
you.
6) Below a bar you were
over
And therein lies the rub you can't
undue. When you jump and taste the level of
fulfillment once? You're kinda fucked. Ignorance
is bliss and the more you experience the
unknown? The more you want to continue. Which makes
facing the realities of a 9-5 or kids so, so, so
difficult. You ain't doin' June '09 with a family.
Before, I didn't know how much I would love that
shit. Clearly I tried the family thing wanting nothing
else. But little by little, year by year - I have
raised the bar of life so high and danced on it...
leaving a nearly impossible feat of continuing it.
Part of me wishes I had never gone on that trip, or
never tasted those career highs. A lifetime of chasing
the unattainable vs. contentment with a family is
gonna plague me for the rest of my days. 'Cause I have
no idea how to do both.
7) Hiding in my
Hometown
Columbus has always been a
playground to me. So familiar, so... attainable. There
isn't one part of it that feels like LA to me. Once
the initial fear of failure subsided in 2001 the city
felt like it was in the palm of my hands. However
right now? I desperately want the familiarity of my
own home, my own dogs, and want no one to see me in my
present state. I am so beaten. Trying to decompress
from the past 6 months seems nearly unending. My ego
is simply gone and I want no one to see me in this
state. I have another week here however and boredom
will probably give way to seeking out others... but
all I can see in my head is the things I'll do when I
walk back into my house. It's one thing to show your
vulnerabilities to the world online, an entirely
different thing to feel this weak in person. Strange
isn't it? I feel like I have a bubble around me when I
come back to Columbus and that bitch has been POPPED.
God, what a year.
8) There should be more, but there
isn't...
The title says it all. What I
envisioned as a fun-filled road trip was worse than
I ever could have imagined culminating in the
previous locked entry. I survived it, we're on
speaking terms, but just barely. As I tried to
say at the beginning of the trip that was humourously
being typed on my iPad as all civility was being
tried, we just don't mix. It's the one thing I've
always said in the defense of living together before
marriage: man do you know quickly how things are gonna
play out. It was a matter of hours before I was like
"oh my fuck.". It's over though. I wish I could
say I was relieved but I'm just dazed. I can't process
anything. I want to go home. On July 13th,
I will.
