Hmmm. This may be more difficult
than I thought it would be. The umpteenth blow-up,
third just today, and I'm supposed to weave this story
into the beauty of life changing moments? Things sure
a more beautiful in hindsight...
...but I promised I'd tell this
story, one that has been locked up inside me and on
this site for over 6 months, and in all honesty? I
need to.
The premise, on paper, couldn't be
simpler. It was pretty mutually understood that things
weren't working out within days/ weeks, and life took
over and kept us both in a personal hell for the
entirety of 2010. What started as a scenario with zero
negatives became a tragedy of errors that now ends
with someone's entire life being turned upside down...
and a trip across the country. It started with 'The
Negatives List'.
Last Thanksgiving a friend came to
visit me and she caught herself making a 'Negatives
List' about me during our long weekend. A sort of
defense mechanism that made it easier for her to leave
that Sunday. She apologized, and I certainly
understood. I do the exact same thing and I analyzed
my present situations and realized one person in
particular I did this quite a bit with. When the truth
of the matter was, I had the least amount of drama
with *****, mainly because neither of us wanted to be
serious.
***** was in the process of
looking for a new place to live, and really wanted to
rent a guesthouse where she could have dogs as she
grew to love mine so much. I was of course reeling
from the Comedy Central letdown and was a bit dazed at
my financial situation since I took off so much time
for Comedy Central and the FOUR series. I'm sure you
can see where this is going. I threw out the idea of
her moving in. I really had no qualms about it. I was
more than over with the constant "dating" as no matter
how honest you are? It still feels slimy to see more
than one person at a time. To me anyway. Didn't stop
me from doing it of course, but it wasn't the peace I
was looking for. Focusing on a relationship seemed
good for the soul. I also made no bones about the
financial aspect and we both thought... if it didn't
work out? No big loss, she was looking to move anyway,
worth a shot. We already spent the majority of our
time watching sports/movies together... what can I
say? I'm always an optimist when it comes to shit like
this. I've been through everything when it comes to
relationships and survived it all. I was ready to end
the dating drama, and especially because she also
seemed so reticent about being really serious as well.
She had some pretty rough situations herself, and was
taking it all day by day.
Within days, seriously days, I
found myself in arguments that baffled me. I'd try and
softly get through them, but within the first week, I
found myself counting down the days until I left for
Columbus on December 16th, where I was spending three
weeks. I wrote it off as stress from her moving but as
I spoke to my friends back at home, I was noticeably
concerned. I would give it a go as I started the new
year but my fuse was short. The number one reason was
to bring DOWN the drama in my life. This is where
every man laughs along with me: "You asked a woman to
move in with you to LESSEN the drama in your life?".
Yeah, yeah... Laugh it up Fuzzballs. But again, I went
into the new year and back to LA with some
hope.
On the car-ride from the airport I
was hit with all sorts of things that had I known this
before? Because of my own issues, I simply would never
have invited this situation. Totally my fault for not
getting to know her better, but fault didn't matter
here. We were pretty incompatible. I took a deep
breath and tried to make the best of it, but each day
seemed worse than the next. Within 10 days, sitting in
this very car, we looked at each other and just said:
"oops.". We clearly weren't on the same page, and we
simply didn't work. Some people can live together,
some people can't. And as we started to process how
this was going to work out…
…she loses her
job.
And welcome to the tragedy of
errors. I hung up the phone after she called to tell
me on that Friday, the 22nd of January, and just shook
my head. It was already a really bad situation and
this sent it into overdrive. The fact that she's
forced to come back to Ohio to live with her mother
should fill in the blanks for you. An absolutely
heartbreaking ½ year applying for jobs,
interviewing for jobs, even spending a week in
Nashville interviewing for jobs… with nothing
landed. Culminating with this cross-country,
life-changing drive. Now, that's a nice overview of
it. That's a nice way to spin it. That middle part?
That half year? Every second of every day spent next
to each other in what was already a pretty tense
relationship. I will not get into the minutiae of our
personal issues 'cause it makes absolutely no
difference. You know when you don't get along well
with someone that this scenario is beyond hellish.
Everyday this year has been (for me anyway) a focus on
what words/actions I can say/take that will result in
a peaceful existence. I failed. And we've taken that
show on the road!
(sigh)
Once we are both settled on
separate sides of the country, there will be a
soft-spot in my heart for the situation and the
incredibly bad timing of everything, however right
now? We're in the middle of Bickerfest 2010 and I want
to throw myself out of this car. But since I can't
figure out how to video tape that, the world's first
and longest running video blogger will just put on his
headphones and listen to The Beatles.
