Entry #1054
8:23 AM, June 26th, 2010:
I know I should start these randoms explaining the trash can, but holy shit there are bigger issues...
1) iBroken
My iPad won't charge. I think it's the charger, but I may have damaged the port attached to the charger, which means they would have to replace my FREAKING iPAD which will take awhile since there are none in this city. IM GOING ON A ROAD TRIP MONDAY. DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Losing it. This so sucks. Books, magazines, songs, movies, games.... just - THE travel companion. DAMNIT. Ahem. I'm going to the Apple store when it opens. Leaving now. Jesus.
2) iOverreacted
Ok, it was the charger. I feel a little foolish. They replaced it, sent me on my way... and it made me sit and think about just how insanely bummed I was. I mean... has this thing really affected my life this greatly? Goddamn it has, hasn't it? I was seriously losing it thinking about this road trip having to <gasp> did what I did on every other road trip the previous 33 years of my life. I'm so freaking happy it was just the cable and that I got a new one. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeew.
3) So we need to talk about this.
It didn't get more anti-apple than me. My reasons were extremely clear-cut and simple: there's nothing wrong with apple products, if money isn't an option. Money will always be a HUGE option for me, and if I can do it for cheaper on a PC, I choose cheaper. Not only could I do it on a PC cheaper... I could do it cheaper and BETTER 'cause I can build and hack my own shit. The choice was always clear. Then I got the idea for the ipadcomic and I had no choice but to buy an Apple product. Even if there was a PC version that was cheaper? The name was too catchy. Now, that being said, nothing is an iPad. Sorry. It just isn't. And after a month with this thing attached to me? It is the most revolutionary product I've ever owned. It has reshaped my life/day/patterns/habits/outlook. I'm reading books, reading magazines, I'm interracting more, I'm being inspired by creative (and usually free) apps... I'm simply astounded. It is so much more than they say it is. There's a 99 cent app that is simply a bunch of game boards and pieces. You lay the iPad between you and a friend, and just play a board game, or use a deck of cards... any of the ZILLION ways you can think of to use it. Of course you can do any ONE of the things the iPad can do already... but to do them all? To have ALL your books and magazines... more songs and movies than you could watch/listen to in a year? And with a wifi or 3G? Everything the internet has to offer? Plus the tons of touch-screen apps, that simply didn't exist until the iPhone and iPad? It's mind blowing. After a couple days I finally understood what was happening. This is the future. I can understand people waiting until other versions come out, etc. But I guarantee that in 10 years? They will be as common as laptops. Everyone will have a small, touch-screen "pad-like" device to do everything on. And right now? Nothing comes close to the smoothness, and absolute polish of this device. As I mentioned earlier in the month, you forget every single grievance you had because you're so busy enjoying it. Laying back and reading a magazine and not being hunched over a laptop? Heaven. And not having stacks of shit everywhere? Wondrous. $499 is indeed expensive, and I would never have spent that without the idea for the new show... but I nearly shit my pants when I didn't think I'd have this thing for two weeks. Something I never thought I needed has become indispensible. It's shocking. And this from a PC PC PC PC PC guy. Something to consider, for sure. OK, US vs. Ghana is coming on...
3) Well that sucked.
Man... I was really digging the World Cup. That really blew. I have to say, I really enjoy the subtle rhythm differences of every sport. People that say soccer is boring, are clearly not open to anything in life. It's one of the more intense gaming experiences I've ever known. But I love football, love basketball... and hell, I love 4-Square obviously. I like competition in general and watching athletes at their peak is inspiring to me. I always relate it to my life, and am instantly attracted to the human-element of the moment. The match I just watched was several of these guys last time ever playing in The World Cup. This was their "Comedy Central Pilot" moment, that I had last fall. It's gripping human drama, and I'm a magnet to that shit. Anyway, it was a close match, but the better team seemed to win that one. And that last kick in extra-time by the Ghana player was extraordinary. Hats off to them.
4) So about that trash can
So I'm walking around my neighborhood and spot a fast-food restaurant trash-can in an alley. Not of a fast-food restaurant mind you... just being thrown out with a bunch of garbage. It didn't take but 3 seconds for me to sprint my ass home, get my dolly and proceed to roll that sunuva bitch back to my house. With GLEE. Giddy-as-hell. It has the big THANK-YOU on it. I mean, this is a no-brainer, right? Seems every guy I've told agrees wholeheartedly. Women think I'm fucking insane. Story of my life really - HA. If there was a gay-pill, I'm tellin' you...
So I am now the owner of what I once thought was a McDonald's Trashcan - but it's closer to Taco Bell, though that Taco Bell is a drive-through only, so I'm not exactly sure how that got there. Either way, it was being thrown out - and I took THAT shit and will have to figure out what to do with it. Something tells me that it will eventually be part of a putt-putt hole I will put in my backyard. I'm like a white-trash Michael Jackson, aren't I... Jesus, that just occured to me. HA. TROMBONE! WOOOOO!
5) Trash Can Rant
So I figured whenever I felt like it, I'd sit in my trash-can and spout off some shit.
I could've done a bunch more, but it was getting dark. And seriously? It's like tweeting how much your job sucks. What on earth was McChrystal thinking? I'll never understand that. But Afghanistan is even more of a mess now. No way he's getting out next July, which is fucking bullshit. If we're not out of those 2 wars by his re-election? He's in danger. And he's in danger of losing ME. I know it's a mess, I know he was put in a bad position. Stop worrying so goddamn much about the Republicans not liking you and just fucking end that shit. Move the fuck on. It's done. Stick to the withdrawal, and DO IT. Enough already. (ahem)
6) I know I mentioned this before, but...
Enough with the overall "Government-slamming" on the oil spill. This tide needs to turn. The people that were against Obama before? Not even listening to you. The arguments are assanine. I'm talking specifically to the far-left and even moderates. For example, Rachel Maddow. She gave her own speech the night after Obama's address (which was completely political and I hated it, but he had no choice). And listen, I liked her speech more. Absolutely. But don't people understand that the president can't make that speech? Don't they understand that he can't unequivocally say "We will never drill that far down ever again"? Sounds great, but he doesn't have the power to say that. He doesn't. He can't. And Rachel Maddow (who is certainly brilliant) of all people should understand the juggling it takes to run that ship. That's what I'm really loving about this period. It's an about-face on ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the slamming of Bush that we did. It's an eye-opener. There's only so much that can actually be done. It's the advantage I have as someone who wasn't "Agenda-Driven" with Obama. I like the man, I like the leader. I don't care about his agenda. I like seeing how he reacts to what's thrown at him. I like seeing the idiot pundits around him. I like seeing the choices he makes, good and bad - and how the pressures affect him. I'm sad when has to do purely political things like go to the gulf 4 times to look at oil on the shore. It's fucking stupid as FUCK that our media force that issue. They think that's important. They're CLUELESS. And he has no choice but to play the game. 'Cause they hold the keys to his election. What an absolutely backwards nation we live in. LOL. Anyway, I know it's popular to talk about how "weak" he is right now, but that's not it. He's just too goddamned moderate for this country. You know? He actually thinks things through and tries to compromise and bring both sides together. Man, it just ain't happenin' Barry. You need to do what you're gonna do in the time you have, and then back the fuck out. Interesting to watch though.
7) FOUR Finale
Tomorrow marks the end of the FOUR series, and I'm glad everyone can see how it ends. I'll get to all that in the entry tomorrow, but outside of the FOUR realm, it will be nice to have the whole series/idea behind me for the time being. So overwhelming, so much work, such a committment! It was like doing an entire Egos Season... for free. And doing it when it was techincally "over before it began" because Atom had already passed on it. So it sorta stung going through every freaking week. I am still extremely proud of it, and look back on all that is housed within this "Journey" in awe. I never thought I could do so much (and stay so anonymous-lol) and that really does hit home. In the very end? It's all about the art. It's all about the products you produce. Body of work. The amount you give of yourself. And I am proud that I've been able to give so many sides for so long and at such a high standard.
8) That sounded a little finite, didn't it.
I laid in bed a couple nights ago and really "had it out" with my own psyche. About really letting it go. I've been threatening for the entirety of this hellish year and there was just a moment that I had to really ask myself if I was serious. The outcome? Too much shit swirling around me at this moment to make a decision. That has been clear for awhile now. But I'm close enough to the end of that shit to see where I'll be in a couple weeks, and when I really search my heart? I'm convinced it won't be a moment that clear. I may have already made it, and I won't know for awhile... or the "moment" will happen later, and again - I won't know until even later. It feels gone to me. That's all I can say. But I will absolutely admit that somewhere way deep down? I see that magical ending where everything works out and it makes the entire journey even MORE incredible because I didn't give up. But I take little hope in that, because - I will believe that until I'm 80. LOL. That's the little boy in me that likes fairy tales. And it's not all "dreaming", it's a majority logical to me because of my talents. They don't get much more analytical than me and I know I bring the right pieces to the table. All doubt of that flew away when I went so far above and beyond what was asked at me when I was with CBS. So that's why that little twinge still believes...
...but I also edit this fucking monstrosity and I know when the lead character has let go. It's now up to some things that AREN'T in his control anymore whether or not this shit already ended. I don't even care anymore. I just keep going through the motions.
9) Motions that sweep me across the country, for a third time...
And finally, in an entry I'll upload on July 1st - I will be on the road driving with a friend across the country. In a moment in life that is heartbreaking for the friend on every level imagineable, I will try to put together a series of entries, in "Random" form, that should tell everyone everything they've been wondering about in the locked entries. It's all I can think of to do in a situation that has been exhausting beyond measure. It's anything but happy, but there is beauty in the road. There is beauty in the life changing moments that seem so crushing at the time and I will do my best to just capture that essence and do it justice for both of us. We've been through a living hell these past 6 months, and it's coming to an end.
As is this entry.