Entry #1016
4:07 PM, March 10th, 2010:
The moment a threesome isn't awkward, is the moment you realize you're a pornstar. They're always awkward. And they should be.
Do I leave that sentence in?
Oh, what can it hurt. Might as well give those following this crazy thing something juicy to chew on after locking an entire month. Thank goodness for Duke Fightmaster, who knows how long the locked streak would have gone on...
I have to start by saying that all I've seen of Duke and his wife, clearly she's supportive of his ventures. She's in his shorts, and plays along so this is all tongue in cheek. But let me also say that there is certainly an ounce of truth to the awkwardness and I know both sides of this argument very, very well. Let's watch, shall we?
Yeah, it ain't all tongue-in-cheek. LOL.
I really dig this interview. It's just colorful and bizarre to me. It's things like this that literally make The Journey breathe. This will forever burn March 2010 in my brain. These colors, those words, that band at the beginning and end. In the same way Adam Darling and the Key Club was March 2009. The little events the scatter the off-months of this story are usually my favorite because they get forgotten over time and are always nice to discover when I look back. It's why I always jump at every opportunity big or small because it's always another video. Another video that is the backbone of my life.
What I liked most about the video is that you can tell from the beginning he relates to my story, and has an vested interest in it. It's like he wants to know the answers 'cause he's lookin' for the same ones. I love how he sets up the "Yeah, you showed that bitch that left you!" storyline only to have me totally stop that dead in his tracks. From my perspective though, it's nice to know that only my life could make some of those moments work. You know? It makes it all seem worth it when you have interviews like that. As a viewer, I am interested in all the stories that guy must have. When he says "Is this you're first? You've got 2 more to go..." I think - what the fuck? And I want to hear more. It's "The Lemonade Life". That guy doesn't seem beaten, he seems fun and interesting...
...which is BAFFLING to me considering the 2 months I've had. Like, I cannot believe I have the ability to do that sometimes. The guy in that video seems completely at ease (though the seating was a bit awkward - really didn't know how to sit with Leslie on the right) and the second before and after I'm done with it - I'm back in the depression, trying to fight through the drama and trying to figure out what the fuck to do next. This is a completely surreal time in my life.
As well, there's a plethora to catch you all up on - so a Randoms is due. Probably "Random Proof that I'm Alive" as a title. LOL. God I hate locking these entries. It's cutting off a lifeline. I still write, still make the videos, but without knowing it's out there? Man, I just feel trapped. It's such an acute emotion that I can only imagine other bloggers feel.
Back to the interview - I must apologize to Duke for my 1014 video where I show the crowd on my way up. LMAO. Leave it to me to blow his cover as he edits in a bigger crowd at the beginning of the video. Never occured to me that was what he did or I probably would've helped the big cover-up. Heh. Ahh "Behind The Scenes" of struggling entertainers as they use smoke and mirrors to further their efforts.
Back to the editing of "FOUR". Christ have I even mentioned that? No that's all locked up too. Grrr... I'll get to all that in the Randoms entry later this week.