video locked until january 3rd,
after the show in Columbus
Entry
#999
2:24 PM - January
1st, 2010...
This is spooky.
This honestly takes my breath away a bit. I decided to
go back to black on white for 2010 as an homage to
2000... but I really underestimated just how trippy it
would feel. I went to white on black in 2001 and other
than the god-awful green in '02 and gold in '03 (which
was still light on dark) I've stuck with white on
black. Actually annoyed some people, but I really felt
black on white represented "old" and "amateur".
Now it feels like I'm somehow breaking into 2000 and
editing my past. Completely bizarre how attached you
can grow to colors/fonts, etc. You ever want to watch
my cerebral cortex split? Hack into "The Journey" and
change all the colors and entry bars. It would be like
replacing my parents with actors in my memories.
That's how integral the color schemes are to how my
brain processes my past.
How completely
nuts would that last paragraph seem to me 10 years
ago? Jesus...
It only takes a
quick skim of the past 10 years to see the pattern
that is unfolding, and the cold, harsh realities of
what lies ahead this year. This is a work year. This
is a nose to the grindstone, save your house, focus on
finances until you lose your mind like you did a year
ago type of year. This is 2003-2004, 2008-2009 (until
I got the break and quit my job last year in May).
It's not colorful, it's not exciting, it is however...
the truth. For 6 months last year I believed with all
of my heart that juuuuuust maybe I was done with years
like that. I had just enough support from
agents/managers/production companies (so
I thought) and just the opportunity to show my
stuff... when alas, it was my own misunderstanding of
the opportunity (everyone's really) and in reality
I was late to my own party. I swear to this
project that I will never rely on others to relay or
interpret information ever again. One phone call to
Jim in early July and my entire life could've been
changed forever - so now its a "rebuilding
year"...
...and then I saw
"The Journey" on the big screen (wait'll those in
Columbus see it tomorrow night) and it completely blew
me out of the back of the theater. The overwhelming
quality of everything hit me so hard, that I'm gonna
be hard pressed to NOT try and make this into a
full-fledged documentary. Copyright issues will be the
bain of my existence in 2010, no doubt. Getting the
rights, finding the money to use certain pieces of
music (CBS better not fuck me on all the work
I did there) - I just know my heart REALLY
believes in this now that I saw it on the big screen.
Also, editing the entire thing into a 90 minute show,
showed me just how good the story is. It's the fastest
90 minutes ever, and although I know I am completely
biased here, the "what happens next" factor is
overwhelming to me. We'll see how the Columbus
audience reacts (though obviously they're homers too)
and I'll take it from there. I think I have
something here and I think seeing it projected in that
fashion absolutely changed the course of my life.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Smiley Girl (Cassandra
Logan), and your friend Peter John Ross.
Other than that?
As I said before, rebuilding. I'll keep pushing
things, I have a couple things I'm dabbling in with my
new agent, with a new section at Paradigm, I now have
a lot of irons... but this doesn't feel like a "break"
year to me. It feels like a "putting your ducks in a
row" year so 2011 is awesome. Just my gut
feeling, but as you know, that never affects my
actions. I keep pushing it like it's gonna happen next
week.
As I felt last
year, I just really wanted to get to the end of this
entry so I could start already. LOL. I feel like
I should do something more monumental because -
jesus this is the last 3 numeral entry EVER. But, I'm
so focused on the show tomorrow -
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT'S TOMORROW
- that I'm racing like crazy. I feel good about 2010,
but the betting man says 2011 will be bigger.
Now, enjoy the end
of the year-end review.... ooh actually there's a bit
more I wanted to add after this:
What happens next.
Those 3 words man. It is the crux of it all. The
conclusion is uncertain and yet another year starts
and I'm just as hopeful. I have just as much
confidence, the quality of material is even better,
I've surprised myself even more... and see that
sincerity? See that guy getting interviewed? He really
is excited. He really wants to see what happens next.
I cannot believe I still have that in me.
Things are moving
in the right direction, and tomorrow night - those who
can share that with me will see the beginning of "From
1 to 1000". I'm gonna use that scene to start the
real movie, where I go back into Entry #1 and
tell 2000 Adam the whole story. I couldn't be more
excited.
